Today’s Dumbass: Man Steals Hundreds Of Beers From Wal-Mart Two Days In A Row


Credit: Bloomberg/Getty Images

If you get away with Grand Theft Alcohol once, you shouldn’t test your luck again. Last week, Michigan police arrested a kleptomaniac-oholic for allegedly stealing 19 cases (456 cans) of Bud and Bud Light from a local Wal-Mart… a day after he stole seven other cases.

You’d think that would be conspicuous, walking out of a superstore with a year’s worth of beer in broad daylight. (The follow-up theft occurred at 4 p.m.) Indeed, Wal-Mart’s security team recognized this master criminal from his raid less than 24 hours prior and called 911.

Instead of paying $400 for the merchandise–not a bad deal for 624 brews–he’s probably going to pay with years of jail time. The 42-year-old dude’s on parole, and cops reportedly found drug paraphernalia on him. For his sake, let’s just hope he doesn’t try to steal this much prison hooch from the other inmates.

[Via Guyism]

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