Today’s Dumbass: Man Impersonates Funeral Director To Steal Dead Fiancée’s Ring


Credit: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

People respond to tragedy in different ways. For example, 58-year-old Terry Kurtzhals of Lincoln, Nebraska, is accused of responding to his fiancée’s death by trying to get her engagement ring back under morbidly false pretenses.

Police say that Kurtzhals pretended to be a funeral director so he could gain access to the diamond on 34-year-old Jessica Johnson’s finger. To be fair, the poor guy didn’t pay thousands of dollars for this piece of jewelry because he wanted it to be covered in dirt for eternity… but it’s not particularly romantic to pry it off his girlfriend’s dead body.

Maybe he just wanted the ring to remember her by? Maybe getting back its cash value is what she would’ve wanted?

(The weirdest part: Kurtzhals actually was a funeral director, until his license was revoked in 1996 over–you guessed it–theft charges.)

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