For World AIDS Day, a Chinese sex toy company sponsored the First China Masturbation Competition. (Because you can’t get AIDS from jerking off, or something?) Seven guys hid their identities with masks–and hid their junk with orange buckets–before attempting to outlast each other. Attractive ladies held a blowup doll to make it (and them) harder.
Needless to say, this breaks Guy Code in too many ways to count. Unless you actually enjoy whacking it with a half-dozen other dudes, in which case we won’t judge you. (Much.) Everyone has a few kinks, right?
But if you just want to win a contest, then you’ve crossed a line, especially since the victor doesn’t appear to win a prize. A “1st Place” ribbon is no incentive to debase yourself for a dildo manufacturer’s bizarre publicity stunt.
Even if it’s for charity like the San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon–which has raised $25,000 for safe sex education and other causes–you’re still not in the clear. Because you could just donate the cash without pleasuring yourself in the company of strangers.
The only possible way to uphold Guy Code at a masturbation contest? By setting a new world record, like porn star Sonny Nash did at 2012’s San Francisco competition. His 10-hour, 10-minute jack session is a true athletic achievement. But if you don’t have that kind of stamina in you, do yourself a favor and keep it in your pants.
NSFW video from China below, if you want to feel disgusted and/or weirdly intrigued: