Today’s Dumbass: Man Spends All His Cash To Survive The Mayan Apocalypse

Credit: AFP/Getty Images

If you watched the John Cusack movie “2012,” then you have no excuse for lacking a giant ship when the earth’s oceans drown the vast majority of humankind next month. While you procrastinate, however, Lu Zhenghai of China has spent his life savings on building a modern “Noah’s Ark.”

“I’m afraid that when the end of the world comes in 2012, flood waters will destroy my house,” Lu explained to the Chinese News Service. “So I took all my savings and invested in the construction of this boat.”

Unfortunately, his $160,000 nest egg wasn’t enough to complete the project, so he’s probably going to die with the rest of us. But if he raises enough cash to get the 80-ton vessel in working order before December 21, “When the time comes, everyone can take refuge in it.” (This is generous offer, considering that his ark is only 65 feet long.)

Go ahead and laugh, skeptics, but one day your descendents will read biblical stories about this hero. And you? You’ll just be fish food.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog