Fantasy Picks & Chicks Week 13: Choosing Fantasy Starters By Their Ladies

Matt Schaub's Wife
Photo via Texans

Instead of racking your brain with deep statistical analysis, why not make your fantasy picks based off their corresponding fantasy chicks?

When these NFL players aren’t picking up a zone blitz, they’re picking up smoking hot chicks…

Matt Schaub vs Matt Stafford

Matt Schaub vs Matt StaffordPhotos via

Matt Schaub has had one of his healthiest and most productive seasons, averaging 18.72 fantasy points per game. With drop dead gorgeous wife Laurie Schaub rooting for him, it’s easy to see how he stays motivated. A former cheerleader, Laurie’s amazing looks earn her a 10.5 for a combined couple score of 29.22, a number that would get any fantasy owner cheering.

The Lions’ 4-7 record has the Motor City moping, but Matt Stafford has been rock solid for fantasy owners, throwing for an average of 20.82 fantasy points per game. Stafford’s girlfriend, bombshell Kelly Hall, is pulling her weight too, clocking in at a near-perfect 9.9. Together, the two score a tremendous total of 30.72.

Winner: Matt Stafford

Steve Smith vs Victor Cruz

Steve Smith vs Victor CruzPhotos: Johnny Nunez/Brian A. Westerholt/Getty Images

Cam Newton’s sophomore slump hasn’t helped Steve Smith’s fantasy numbers; he’s only been able to average 7.47 fantasy points per game. At least his beautiful brunette wife Angie is a 9.4 on the fantasy chick scale, bringing their couple total to 16.87.

Victor Cruz is proving that last year was no fluke, putting up 11.45 fantasy points per game. Plus, his fiancée Elaina Watley’s hot looks are spicing up his salsa with a 9.6, totaling an impressive 21.05 for the two of them.

Winner: Victor Cruz

If you need help deciding your fantasy football match-ups, tweet @greenroomshow early in the week and I’ll include them in this week’s column.

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Sean Green (@greenroomshow) is a standup comedian and podcast host living in Los Angeles