Diehard Degenerate: Sports Gambling NFL Week 13

Norv Turner
Credit: Donald Miralle/Getty Images

Sean Green hosts the Sports Gambling Podcast and is our expert on losing money.

Roger Goodell might want to check my urine for performance enhancing drugs, as I went an amazing 4-0-1 against the spread last week. I’m clean, but the same can’t be said for a handful of NFL players who were recently busted for Adderall, a drug habit I’m sure they picked up from all those late-night study sessions at college.

Cincinnati Bengals -1.5 at San Diego Chargers

Even the most pessimistic Chargers fan must’ve believed that forcing the Ravens into a fourth and twenty nine on the last drive of the game would result in victory, yet San Diego somehow managed to blow it in epic fashion. And they’ve only scored more than 24 points once in their past seven games. Bengals are 3-0 ATS and will continue their run into the playoffs.

Philadelphia Eagles +10 at Dallas Cowboys

With a rivalry game like this one, you have to throw the records out, which is the only way to salvage these squads’ subpar seasons. From the Bounty Bowl to the time that Eagles fans applauded Michael Irving’s career-ending injury, there truly is no love lost between these two. This is the Super Bowl for the 2012 Eagles, and 10 points is too much to lay for a Cowboys team still licking their wounds from a Redskins defeat.

Chicago Bears -3.5 vs Seattle Seahawks

Doctors will have you believe that Mike Ditka suffered a stroke because of poor diet and genetics, but I believe it was from the shock of witnessing a true franchise QB emerge in Chicago. Rebounding from his concussion, Cutler is in prime position to lead the Bears on a playoff push. On the road, the Seahawks switch from Beast Mode to Least Mode. Without the twelfth man, Seattle is 1-4 and will not fare well in the Windy City.

Prosperous Prop Bets

Player to win the Heisman Trophy: Johnny Manziel (QB Texas A&M) 1/6

Johnny Football is the best nickname for a college quarterback since Johnny Utah. The odds aren’t great, but you can take this one to the bank.

Will a team score three unanswered times? (Falcons vs Saints): No +175

Feels like a real back-and-forth game coming down to an FG, and by wagering on this you’ll come off as a bipolar maniac continually rooting for alternating teams.

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Sean Green (@greenroomshow) is a standup comedian and podcast host living in Los Angeles