Today’s Dumbass: Georgia Man Assaults Passerby With Penis/Taser


Photo: Athens Banner-Herald

He’s not happy to see you, actually. That’s a Taser in his pants.

After some day-drinking Monday, 44-year-old Georgia man Meredith Grayson Watson got into an argument with his wife at a bar in downtown Athens. Rather than merely stomping away in anger, Watson went outside “and held a Taser as if it were his penis and discharged it at passersby,” according to police.  The bartender thinks Watson might have been high, possibly the cause of the couple’s spat.

Where’d Sherlock get this Taser? We’re not sure. But the report also says he would come as close as arm’s length from passersby and set the Taser off.

Fortunately Watson didn’t actually shock anyone with his Penis-Taser™. He only scared them. We’re also not sure if he scared people because he was stalking them outside a bar with his penis out, or because he approached them with a Taser, or because he pretended a Taser was his penis and fired the device from close range. Any of those scenarios is cause for alarm. If there were any justice in all this, Watson would have electrocuted his own dong. Next time.

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