Fantasy Picks & Chicks Week 12: Choosing Fantasy Starters By Their Ladies

Photo: Donald Miralle/Getty Images

Instead of racking your brain with deep statistical analysis, why not make your fantasy picks based off their corresponding fantasy chicks?

Everyone is playing fantasy football these days, so you need every edge you can get. By analyzing a player’s wife/girlfriend(s), you can see if he has the mental edge to win your fantasy league.

Drew Brees vs Peyton Manning

Photos: Doug Benc/Getty Images and

Despite the New Orleans Saints’ off-season drama, Drew Brees is having another career year: a 99.8 QB rating and 27.24 fantasy points per game. And his beautiful babe of a wife, Brittany Brees, is a 9.26 on the fantasy chick scale, for a combined total of 36.50.

Doubts swirled about Peyton Manning’s post-injury ability, but he’s led the Broncos to a 7-3 record while helping faithful fantasy owners by racking up 24.84 points per game. His wife Ashley is probably responsible for a few neck injuries herself, considering the way she turns heads. She’s a solid 9.9, bringing their total score to 34.74

Winner: Drew Brees

Stephen Gostkowski vs Shayne Graham

Photos: Facebook/Bengals

Kickers are rich, famous athletes just like regular players, so they can land some babes. With an 11.40 average, it’s no surprise that Stephen Gostkowski is owned in 99% of NFL fantasy leagues. His wife Hallie has two amazing legs, not just one, earning her a babe score of 9.7 for a couple total of 21.1.

Shayne Graham is having another solid year, scoring 9.4 fantasy points per game. He’s scored off the field too, being linked to Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader and school teacher Sarah Jones, a smoking hottie who seemingly deserves a perfect 10. Unfortunately, earlier this year she had sex with her 17-year-old former student,which knocks her down to a 7 for a combined total of 16.5.

Winner: Stephen Gostkowski

If you need help deciding your fantasy football match-ups, tweet @greenroomshow early in the week and I’ll include them in this week’s column.

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Sean Green (@greenroomshow) is a standup comedian and podcast host living in Los Angeles