Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Americans will consume more than 45 million turkeys on Thanksgiving. It's only a matter of time until the birds rise up and fight back. And we have video evidence to suggest the rebellion has already started. Not even the president's symbolic pardoning of a single turkey has calmed these beasts. All they care about is revenge. Watch the harrowing (yet hilarious) proof...
1. Turkey Attacks News Producer
The audio track sounds like someone running from an armed robber: "Go away!" "Help!" "Thank God for that mail truck!" (When she's in her car, hiding from the monster turkey, it's like a scene out of "Jurassic Park.")
2. Turkey Attacks Mail Truck
"Thank God for that mail truck"? The turkeys scoff. (It's brilliant of them to disrupt our communications channels before striking.)
3. Turkey Attacks UPS Guy
...or traps him inside anyway. Not even the U.S. Postal Service's competitors are safe.
4. Turkeys Attack Woman and Child
Turkeys don't limit their wrath to mail carriers. We can only imagine the horror that takes place off-camera, based on all the screaming and honking.
5. Turkey Attacks Cops
Not even the police can protect us from the turkey uprising.
6. Turkey Attack, Brah
Turkeys don't listen to either reason or talking smack. Camera tripods might be our only defense.