Today’s Dumbass: Guy Doesn’t Vote, So Wife Runs Him Over With SUV

Who knew “Vote Or Die” was literal?

Daniel Solomon of Gilbert, Arizona didn’t feel like heading to the polls on Election Day. Whether it was because of the long lines or negative campaign ads, he just didn’t have any interest in politics this year. Unfortunately, his 28-year-old pregnant wife Holly — who “hated Obama,” Daniel later told the cops — punished him for his “lack of voter participation,” allegedly mowing him down with the family Jeep SUV.

He tried to run away, but she chased him through a parking lot, screaming at the top of her lungs. “At one point he went behind a light pole so the vehicle wouldn’t strike him,” a police spokesman said. “He ended up leaving the light pole trying to run away to a different area.”

And that’s when Holly — who, it’s worth mentioning, was stone-cold sober at the time — struck Daniel and pinned him against the curb, according to police. He’s now at a hospital in critical condition, and she’s facing charges of domestic violence and aggravated assault. So, it’s fair to say he probably missed a few warning signs early in the relationship?

Perhaps in 2016, Daniel will exercise his civic duty and register to vote. But first, he might want to register for divorce.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog