Today’s Dumbass: Drunk Burglar Cooks Steak Dinner, Steals Klondike Bars

Apparently one man was willing to risk prison time for a Klondike bar. Twenty-four-year-old Pennsylvanian Steve Johnson was arrested for burglary and criminal trespass (and public drunkenness) Thursday morning after breaking into a home and cooking himself a steak dinner complete with clams, crab and shrimp all while the homeowners slept on a living room couch — a feat in itself. For dessert, Johnson snatched Reese’s Klondike bars. At least the dope has good taste.

To accompany the meal, Johnson drank the couple’s coconut rum and vanilla vodka, a curious pairing with the surf and turf, also ensuring that he would have a miserable stomach ache in prison, a fate he probably didn’t expect. The Times-Tribune reports that the homeowner finally woke up when Johnson headed out the door then called the police who caught Johnson nearby not long after. Shortly after he discovered that they don’t serve delicious Klondike bars in prison.

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