Gut Check: If You’re Too Fat To See Your Junk, It’s Time To Hit The Gym

Photo: UniversalImagesGroup/Contributor

It used to be a taunt: “I bet you can’t even see your dick.” Now it’s a medical test.

A British wellness group is encouraging men to check their pecker. Because if your gut blocks the view, you’re going to die. (They didn’t put it that bluntly, but almost.) According to The Big Check:

“New research shows 1 in 3 men are unable to see their penis. If your stomach is starting to obstruct the view of your manhood you shouldn’t ignore it, not only can it knock years off your lifespan but it could put you at serious risk from life-threatening illness.”

It’s an awfully crude test, but guys like the one in the above photo — who appears to be pregnant with beer — could use the inspiration. Of course, there is one variable in the machine: some guys have bigger dongs than others. A skinny dude without much to show is still healthier than a well-endowed fat dude.

If your johnson is hidden from view? First, don’t panic. Feel for it. There? Great. Time to begin a health and fitness regimen.

If you can comfortably see your member? Congratulations, but don’t get complacent — or else one day you might look down and admire the donut holder.

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