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Not everyone is a Halloween fan. Some people object to its pagan origins. Some people object to paying $50+ for a costume that--like a wedding dress or a condom--can only be worn once. Either way, if you're not feeling the holiday spirit, you can still have fun with these other, more obscure celebrations at the end of the month. They're, like, the Hanukkahs of October.
1. Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
You could shave your head, find a wheelchair and be Professor X for Halloween… or you could actually be Professor X. Fifty-seven percent of Americans believe in extrasensory perception, and 15 percent have consulted a psychic. (Before you laugh, remember that Paul the Octopus successfully predicted every 2010 World Cup match.)
Increase Your Psychic Powers Day, which apparently goes back to nineteenth century England, isn't just practical; it's economical. In these tough times, when jobs are sparse, you can make a fortune from fortunetelling.
How to Celebrate: Tell a girl that you can read her mind. She'll be skeptical until you reveal her favorite flowers, her favorite restaurant, her favorite movie--and then make a date out of it. (Don't forget to scan for her favorite positions.)
Holiday Party Foul: Informing your friends how they'll die someday--the ultimate spoiler.
2. World Savings Day
Most holidays require you to spend money on gifts and fancy dinners, but this one--established in 1924--is all about pinching your pennies. Largely forgotten since 1970, its message of fiscal responsibility is much-needed today.
How to Celebrate: Check your credit card bill. And don't make it any bigger, for crying out loud. (You may, however, cry out loud.)
Holiday Party Foul: Buying a lottery ticket while telling yourself, "Hey, I'll get lucky one of these days." Ever hear of a 401(k)?
3. Vanilla Ice's Birthday
The most wondrous of one-hit wonders, Vanilla Ice rocketed to stardom in the early '90s with "Ice, Ice Baby," but just a few years later--after his career had crashed and burned--attempted suicide. He turned his life around (kind of) and now likewise flips houses on "The Vanilla Ice Project."
How to Celebrate: Watch "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze," and join along to Ice's timeless "go ninja, go ninja, go" rap.
Holiday Party Foul: Mentioning Eminem in Ice's presence, which will elicit heartbroken cries of "I coulda been a contender."
4. National Magic Day
Originally a tribute to Harry Houdini, National Magic Day is an opportunity to unleash your inner Harry Potter. The Society of American Magicians spends the day "performing shows at nursing homes, hospitals, and orphanages for those who would have difficulty in getting to a theater to see a live performance." Who better to saw in two?
How to Celebrate: Make a quarter disappear. Or, better yet, make a bra disappear.
Holiday Party Foul: Only a fool breaks the Magician's Oath ("As a magician I promise never to reveal the secret of any illusion to a non-magician...") on any day, but especially on National Magic Day.
5. Nevada Day
Admitted into the Union on October 31, 1864, Nevada has a special place in America's heart. (The darkest, most shameful place.) Whether it's an out-of-control bachelor party or an ill-advised elopement that brings you to the desert, you're gonna regret something when this holiday's over.
How to Celebrate: See that ATM? Say hello to your new best friend... and worst enemy.
Holiday Party Foul: Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's not just a tourist slogan; it's Guy Code.