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As Hurricane Sandy's 75 mph winds approached the East Coast Sunday night, prompting government officials to declare a state of emergency, residents stocked up on necessary provisions: flashlights, batteries, canned food, blankets, ice, candles, and... we'll let this guy explain the rest:
Flashlight, batteries, canned food, blankets, ice, candles, beer, condoms, lube, my roommates sister all the things I need to survive #Sandy
— Nick Bonanzio (@NickB925) October 28, 2012
Nick wasn't the only person on Twitter who included condoms in his survival kit. (Some only included them.) To honor these heroes of preparedness, we've selected the best--or at least the funniest--prophylactic tweets of Frankenstorm 2012:
Y'all going get hurricane supplies, I'm going get condoms... Sandy coming w/that wet wet, lol
— RCP3?Lil (@Thru_Da_Hood) October 29, 2012
A lot of people stacked up on water & batteries for Sandy. I stocked up on condoms. This rain is gonna last for days.
— Dj Slim (@djslim80) October 28, 2012
EVERYBY AT THE STORE BUYING BREAD AND MILK AND IM OUT HERE GETTING CONDOMS AND LIQUOR #SANDY
— whop baker (@_WHIZZLE) October 28, 2012
Does Sam's Club sell 100pk of condoms? Im asking for my cousin... He tryna lose his virginity while Hurricane Sandy is in town
— Dee Woodz (@ItzWoodz) October 27, 2012
I went to walmart to buy supplies for hurricane sandy. The clerk said that's a lot of condoms I said Sh*t u never can have too many
— Nestle Pipes (@morrisfreshcut) October 28, 2012
My "Go Bag" has six bottles of wine, 10 boxes of condoms, a fresh pair of underwear and some Twinkees. It's GO TIME!! #Sandy
— William Beard (@writebeard) October 29, 2012
Sandy survival kit - condoms lube Nutella fleshlight
— Andreas Aresti (@AndreasAresti) October 28, 2012
Donuts and condoms.....I'm ready bitch @sandy
— Grant Chill ?? (@Notori_juss) October 28, 2012
Ciroc, condoms, and a big booty hoe all you need for hurricane Sandy lls
— LJai(@Prodigy_Son88) October 26, 2012
Picked up beer, condoms and yatzee. Ready for #sandy
— Charlie Bowie (@Papasthoughts) October 28, 2012
4 things you need for hurricane sandy blunts condoms some 1800 & plan b pills
— YUNG MELLZ (@HEARTBREAKMELLZ) October 28, 2012
@mikebloomberg buy food water beer weed batteries condoms unless u want to have a hurricane baby and name it #Sandy
— DittoPost (@DittoPost) October 26, 2012
We're sure that Mayor Bloomberg appreciated the previous tweet--but perhaps he should pay attention, because apparently the condom supply is dwindling...
Damn you #Sandy , all the condoms are gone!
— Diego Toro(@SacksOfHormones) October 29, 2012
And when that happens...
IM NOT WEARING NO CONDOMS IN OBSERVANCE OF #Sandy
— HOLLYWOOD SWAGGA (@SWAGGA_L) October 28, 2012
Bad idea, unless this really is the end of the world. Stay safe during the storm, guys... in more ways than one.
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