Lawrence Taylor was awesome at playing football, and really bad at staying out of trouble (this remains an issue). Yet during a segment on Showtime's "Inside the NFL" Wednesday night, faux-Tim Tebow wrote the show seeking some advice. Reports USA Today:
During a segment called "Dear Insiders" — often a tongue-in-cheek bit near the show's end — host James Brown asked Taylor a made-up question which read: "(Dear Lawrence,) Like you, I'm a clean-living, hard-hitting, good ol' southern boy trying to make it in The Big Apple. What was the secret to your success? Thanks in advance, (signed) Tim from the Meadowlands."
"I would say he would have to go to church, Temple -- wherever he goes -- find a nice girl," said Taylor, who added some more colorful language. "I mean marry her if he has to ... but he's got to get some of that pressure off."
Tim Tebow has averaged only eight snaps a game with the Jets so far this season, so he's not even under much pressure, but that's beside the point. The point is-- Lord help Tebow if he takes L.T.'s advice, because it wouldn't be pretty. Here's what might unfold, based on LT's actual life experiences:
1) Sex with a 16-year-old girl, leading to his arrest for statutory rape and eventually a guilty plea for misdemeanor sexual misconduct and patronizing a prostitute;
2) Appearance in "Any Given Sunday" sequel as the former nice guy turned bad;
3) Rampant drug abuse and a nasty crack habit;
4) Charges for tax evasion;
5) The third of three marriages;
6) Suspension from NFL for substance abuse;
7) NFL Starter ... Maybe Tebow should just go for it after all?