This fall’s breakout reality hit, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” is a mystery to guys everywhere. In honor of tonight’s “South Park” episode “Raising the Bar,” airing on Comedy Central at 10 p.m., we have unearthed some hidden gems of advice from the women of the Boo Boo family. The show, a spin-off of TLC’s “Toddlers and Tiaras,” features seven-year-old beauty queen Alana Thompson. Alana, better known as “Honey Boo Boo,” lives in Georgia with her parents, “Mama June,” “Suga Bear” and her three older sisters. In true Guy Code fashion the Boo Boo women are here to hit you with some knowledge about the opposite sex. Who would have thought Honey Boo Boo could be the world’s greatest wingman?
Credit:Jason Winslow/ SDFL/ Splash News
1. “I likes to get in the mud because I like to get dirty like a pig.”
That buttoned-up broad at the end of that bar look too stiff for a good time? Looks are deceiving my friend, according to Honey Boo Boo, all ladies like to get down and dirty with the best of them.
2. “It’s called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up.”
If you were ever hesitant to ask what is the preferred term for a lady’s region, you can thank us later. We can’t confirm if Honey Boo Boo’s mother, “Mama June,” passed high school anatomy but she sure has a way of making female parts sound delicious.
3. “I’ll stop passing gas when I’m dead.”
Have you ever been on a date and really had to let one loose? Cheek squeezers rejoice — girls fart too. In fact, if they are like Honey Boo Boo’s sister, “Pumpkin,” it’s a daily pastime.
4. “Spray tan’s like poop in a can.”
Attention spring-breakers, we get that no one wants to be that pale guy on the beach. But take it from Honey Boo Boo, probably the world’s most frequently fake tanned seven-year-old; don’t do it.
5. “Go-go juice makes me laughy, and play-ey.”
If it wasn’t obvious already, the ladies love a good drink. It’ll be worth your while to swallow your pride and call up Mama for some recipe swapping. Just ask Honey Boo Boo how she feels about her signature go-go juice.
6. “A dolla make me holla”
Lastly, nothing makes a girl smile like cold hard cash. No need to save those singles for boys’ night at the strip club, Honey Boo Boo affirms that you can make it rain anytime, anywhere.