Today’s Dumbass: Man Arrested For Sexting


Credit: Ascent Xmedia

There are many ways a sext can go wrong, but Craig Evans of Birmingham, England might have experienced the worst of it. He accidentally sexted every contact in his cell phone. That’s right. Every contact. Since Evans is a swimming instructor, that included two underage girls who received a text message asking if they wanted to have sex “skin on skin” and if they wanted it “fast or slow.” This led to him being arrested for inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.

It’s easy to laugh at Craig’s misfortune, but there’s a lot we can learn from him. First, “skin on skin?” How were you planning on having sex without touching skin? Skin on bone? Actually, that might have been a good one. Maybe think of something better next time. Most importantly though, before you hit send, make sure it’s going to the right number. It’s hard because you’re so excited about the prospect of having sex, but you need to sext with extreme care and caution. Check and recheck your work, guys! Oddly enough, sexting all his contacts is also what set him free. Since he sexted everyone, he also sexted his parents. He was then able to prove to the judge that this was clearly an accident, because no one would be so horny as to throw out a desperate sext to his parents, underage girls, his best friend, coworkers and everyone else who had ever given him their phone number regardless of age, sex or familial relation.

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is sexting your mom now.