Diehard Degenerate: Sports Gambling NFL Week Four


Credit: Getty Images

Sean Green hosts the Sports Gambling Podcast and is our expert on fun ways to lose money.

Really looking forward to hating the regular refs again. Welcome back guys! Whenever I hear about the Hail Mary to Golden Tate, I can’t help but think of Golden Taint, which would definitely be my porn name if I ever starred in an adult film. Speaking of getting screwed, here are my Week Four locks.

Raiders +6.5 vs Broncos

Peyton Manning is struggling to find his rhythm. The only time he looks comfortable on Sundays is during one of his nine thousand commercials. Darren McFadden, on the other hand, had his best game of the year last week running for 113 yards on 18 carries in the win over Pittsburgh. Look for that trend to continue as Oakland will hammer the rock harder than a Raiders fan taking down a Tecate at a tailgate.

Buccaneers -3 vs Redskins

Florida is synonymous with old folks, which is ironic considering the relative youth of this Tampa Bay team and coach. While the Bucs are sitting at 1-2, their record against the spread is an impressive 3-0. I’m confident they’ll be able to handle this injury-riddled Redskin team. They’re coming to town more banged up than Amanda Bynes‘ front fender.

Vikings +6.5 vs Lions

The Detroit Lions had their Hail Mary answered against the Titans last week. But remember, “Thou shalt not worship false Gods.” It seems these Detroit Lions are the golden calves of the gridiron. I’m a believer in this Vikings team and to be honest, it’s nice to talk about a Minnesota QB without immediately asking, “Why would he be flaccid in that cell phone picture?”

Prosperous Prop Bets

Ravens receive opening kickoff (+125)

If the Ravens win the toss, they will opt to receive. If the Browns win the toss, well, even they realize how crappy their offense is and will delay the inevitable by deferring to the second half.

Eagles score two rushing touchdowns (+400)

The Cardinals game was a disaster for the Eagles’ pass attack. Last time a Phildelphian got manhandled like that, Will Smith‘s mom sent him off to live in Bel Air. Birds will run the ball more often, especially near the goal line.

Rushing Roulette Drinking Game

Watching football at a bar? All you need is an empty glass and some singles. After each play in the game, pass the mug to the next person in line. If it was a running play, add a $1 to the mug. If it’s a pass play, leave it as is. Now if you have the mug and it ends up being a running touchdown you keep the cash. The catch, if the running touchdown is over 20 yards the cash stays in the mug and you buy everyone a round! Left over cash goes to the last person who has the mug. Enjoy!

+ Follow Guy Code on TwitterFacebook and Tumblr

Sean Green (@greenroomshow) is a comic, podcaster and degenerate gambler living in Los Angeles