Code Breakers: Missile Defense Agency Watches Porn At Work


Credit: EyesWideOpen; Jung Yeon-Je /Getty Images

Employees at the Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency were recently warned to stop using their government computers to look at pornographic sites, according to a Bloomberg.com article. Because porn is a topic on “Guy Code” this season, we’ve decided to use the Pentagon’s news to analyze an important question: is it against Guy Code to look at porn during work? We all know that porn is universal; every guy watches it, whether he’s an FBI operative, an exterminator or a blogger (OK, especially if he’s a blogger). No one should be excluded from enjoying the wonder that is porn.

That being said, there’s a time and a place for everything, so we’ve decided that watching porn at work is not acceptable. One exception might be if you’re working a late night shift where you aren’t busy and you need something to make yourself stay awake. But the fact that our MISSILE DEFENSE personnel are watching it at their jobs?! What if a missile hit us tomorrow and those employees were stuck saying, “Yeah, sorry, I totally missed that attack on the radar because I was jacking off to an old extended edition of “1 Night in Paris?” What’s worse, the article says that, if the employees visit non-secure sites, criminals and foreign intelligence agencies can access and infect our government’s networks. Really, Missile Defence Agency workers? We understand the temptation, but for the love of America, please stop being horny at work and keep it in your pants until you get home.

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Madeline Roth (@MadelineRoth1) is the Guy Code Blog intern and goes to BrOhio State University.