Credit: Adam Pretty/Getty Images
Last night, America's swimmers went into beast mode for the men's and women's 100-meter backstroke. Nobody floats on their backs like we do. Land of the free and home of the Disney World Lazy River, bitches! Missy Franklin won the gold for the women with a time of 58.33 seconds. This was a mere 14 minutes after her semifinal heat in the 200-m freestyle. Oh, it's also worth mentioning she's 17 years old. That makes her a certified badass. When she took the podium and alternated between singing the national anthem and letting out lip-quivering sobs, it was clear America had a new favorite swimmer (sorry bros!).
Meanwhile, in the men's 100-m backstroke, Matt Grevers set an Olympic record of 52.16 en route to his gold. Also pretty badass. American Nick Thoman finished second. Suddenly, we have something to distract us from the (to this point) underwhelming performances of Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte.
Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.