Code Breakers: Bro’d-Out Burglars Play Beer Pong


Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

The other day, a man was arrested for breaking into homes and surfing porn once inside. Today, we have some dudes who were similarly driven by the pleasure principle for their burglary, although rather than arousal, they looked to a rousing game of beer pong. According to police, the suspects entered a home in Virginia and played beer pong before stealing two cars in the driveway. This also means they were driving stolen cars drunk–definitely breaking Guy Code.

OK, so what are the chances that you break into a home that just happens to have an abundance of cheap beer, red Solo cups and ping pong balls? Unless this was a frat house, we suspect that the burglars brought their own supplies. Guys, I think we just cracked the case for the Arlington cops.

There’s a certain limit to how far one should go in order to party. These guys clearly went over the limit. It’s one thing when you’re in high school, to break into your friend’s house and throw a party while he’s on vacation with his family (what, nobody else has done that?). You’re desperate for parties at that age. But if you’re so hard up for a party as an adult that you need to break into a stranger’s home and use their pad as a place to get drunk, that’s low, man. Ever heard of brown-baggin’ it in the park?

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.