Wes Welker Joins Fake-Hair Club For Famous Men

Credit: Getty Images

Sure, we’ve all been known to throw an Xbox controller in a fit of disgust or flip over a Scrabble board after a particularly heated game. But a real man loses with dignity. Even when it comes to hair. If it’s gone, and some sort of pill or cream doesn’t work, then your options are to just let it go, or look like Donald Trump.

Of course, there is a third, more ridiculous way. And that would be the fake-hair route. Toupees, spray-on hair, plugs, transplants, extensions…it’s all just a fancy way of saying FAKE HAIR. Wes Welker is the latest celeb to go to such great lengths to salvage his coif, even agreeing to appear in ads for the doctor who did his procedure. We don’t yet know how Welker will look, but judging by these seven famous guys who violate the Never Use Fake Hair bylaw, he’ll look ridiculous.

Carlos Boozer

Silverware polish: the original hair-in-a-can.

John Travolta

Credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images; Gawker

The picture on the left is from last month. The one on the right is from February 2011. Magic! (Scientology = magic)

Wayne Rooney

Credit: Alex Livesey/Getty Images

The best part about these remedies is that they think they work like the “Men In Black” wands. They don’t! Wayne Rooney was bald, then one day he wasn’t. Never Forget!

Bret Michaels

Credit: George Napolitano/FilmMagic

How many Barbie dolls had to be killed to make his bandana-hair combo piece? We have to give Bret props, his strategy is an interesting one: if he never appears without his combo piece, then there’s no proof he’s bald. Except, here’s the proof.

Nicolas Cage

Credit: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

We have no idea what’s going on with the blog favorite‘s hairline. He may not have any idea, either.

Steve Carell

Credit: Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images

On the left, season one of “The Office.” On the right, September 2011. World’s Best LIAR.

Phil Spector

Credit: The Daily Beast

Would you believe someone who went to such insane lengths to cover his baldness would turn out to be a murderer?!

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.