Code Breaker: Fred Willard Arrested For Alleged Public Masturbation


Credit: Michael Tullberg/Getty Images

You know Fred Willard. He’s the funny old guy from “Anchorman” and “Best In Show” and dozens of other movies. He was arrested in Hollywood last night for allegedly masturbating in an adult theater. So now he’s the dirty old guy from those movies.

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According to TMZ, undercover cops walked through the Tiki Theater and found Willard “with his penis exposed and in his hand.” Yep, that’s usually how masturbating works!

This breaks so many Wanking Code bylaws. Haven’t we learned anything from Pee-Wee Herman? Plus, as covered in the Season 2 sneak peek of “Guy Code,” only dudes who are into really weird stuff even pay for porn…let alone pay to watch it in public!  This is 2012! It is nearly impossible to go more than a day without seeing tits on the Internet. Stay home, Fred. We know you’re 78 years old, but you have a Twitter account, so you must have a passing knowledge of computers. You’re no longer in the Army. The days of jackin’ it in a room with a bunch of other dudes who are jackin’ it are long gone.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.