Important Facts About The 13th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos

There are zombies, and there is the resistance. The resistance fights zombies by flaunting their individuality and generally acting “fresh.” This is the premise of the infomercial for “The 13th Annual The Gathering of the Juggalos.” It’s all a nuanced allegory, you see. Zombies = mainstreamers/sellouts, and the resistance = Juggalos. (Nothing says “underground” like Jamie Kennedy, who is performing this year, right? Eh just go with it.)

The Insane Clown Posse-fronted carnival of Faygo, horrorcore, drugs and dirt takes place every year in some muddy field and features myriad clown-faced performers cheered on by myriad clown-faced attendees. And there’s always an oddly legit mix of hip-hop–this year features acts like Danny Brown, The Geto Boys, The Pharcyde and Warren G.

We always look forward to watching each year’s infomercial, because it always shatters records for how many times you’ll say “Um, WHAT?” in one sitting. We’ve watched the whole 23-minute trailer (23 minutes! No way Faygo-addled brains have the attention span to get through it all) so you don’t have to. But you still should. We’ve embedded it below, plus 10 things you need to know about this vortex of awesomeness known as the Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial.

1. These are your troop leaders

2. This is what they call the site

3. We REALLY hope they mean the song and nothing more.

4. Freshness, and myriad fungal rashes

Sugar Slam is the Director of Freshness, so she would know.

5. George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic are performing!

Maybe George needs a new manager? Preferably one who knows about demographics and marketing.

6.  Ric Flair!!

Let’s hope he doesn’t bring his wife along.

7. This is a band! A real band!

8. How did they improve the comedy stage?

Natch.

9. This.

That’s a lot of Amber O’Neils.

10. A robot

Here’s the full video, ninjas!