Photo via YouTube
Hey all you sex-hungry, visually-stimulated, one-track-minded morons (and by that I mean, males), check out this video of a hot chick with HUGE HOOTERS robbing a convenience store! What a fool-proof plan: rob the gas station, but do it with your boobs out so that the drooling testosterone vessel behind the counter won’t look at your face!
That was the keystone of this poorly-conceived heist that an Australian woman and her boyfriend put together. If you’re using old beer commercials and Playboy comics as research, then yes, you would come to the conclusion that men can’t think straight when they see a pair of boobs that are over fifty percent exposed. Unfortunately, there are other factors to consider in a situation like this. For instance: How old is the man you’re trying to distract? Are you coming at him with a knife? And is there an asexual camera in the room?
Potential ladyrobbers, please consider the following:
+ If the man you’re trying to distract is over 16, your chances of him losing his mind at the sight of cleavage are pretty good. If he’s over 25, they greatly decrease, and if he’s over 50, he’ll probably be relatively indifferent. Every age in between is just dependent on how many times the man has seen boobs in real life.
+ If you’re coming at anyone with a knife, their eyes will probably be fixed on the knife. Boobs may distract them for a fraction of a second, but as soon as a deadly weapon enters their field of vision, the human brain immediately switches gears from reproduction to survival.
+ Is there a camera present? Because cameras don’t know what they’re looking at. They’re genderless machines, unswayed by the sight of skin. They’re going to catch you robbing the gas station no matter how awesome your boobs look.