Richard Branson Ice Cubes Terrify Virgin Passengers (Concocted Conversations)


Credit: Virgin Atlantic/Splash News

Ron Babcock imagines the discussions behind pop culture’s funniest photos in Concocted Conversations.

Billionaire CEO/Awesome Madman Richard Branson is now offering ice cubes in the shape of his head to Virgin Atlantic “Upper Class” passengers…because flying in a metal tube 40,000 feet in the air isn’t scary enough. I can only assume that the following conversation now happens regularly in first class.

Stewardess: And here you are sir, your vodka soda with lime.

Passenger: Hey, what’s that in my drink?

Stewardess: Oh, that’s an ice cube in the shape of Richard Branson’s head.

Passenger:

Passenger: I’m sorry, I’m confused. You just said that like it’s a good thing.

Stewardess: It’s something new we’re doing for our upper class passengers. See, now you can have a “drink” with Sir Richard Branson.

Passenger:

Passenger: Oh jeez, you’re serious?!


Credit: Virgin Atlantic/Splash News

Stewardess: Yes sir.

Passenger: I’m sorry, but this is terrifying. I don’t want to get drunk while watching Mickey Rourke‘s face melt.

Stewardess: I assure you this is the face of Sir Richard Branson. It took four designers six weeks to create it with laser scanning technology.

Passenger: I’m paying $5000 for first class and even I think that’s ridiculous. Look at it. It looks like an evil rape elf.

Stewardess: Uh, sir…

Passenger: I know what you’re thinking: “That’s redundant. All rape elves are evil.”

Stewardess: Well, if there’s nothing else sir–

Passenger: But the thing about rape elves is… oh look! Now that the ice has melted a bit, it looks like Joan Rivers‘ corpse with a goatee. Hey, tell Richard I said thanks for the nightmares.

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