Credit: Ron Burton/Hulton Archive
They don’t make roller derby girls like those in the above photo…and we’re absolutely fine with that. Hell, we’ll admit it. We like the tough, tattooed, pierced and dyed ladies that roller derby attracts and/or churns out. We’ve found ourselves at many a roller derby match just to see the beautiful checks, slams and punches from these ballerinas missing teeth. It’s like watching choreographed Suicide Girls on skates. However, we’ll be totally honest, we do not know any of the rules of roller derby. We just figured it’s like professional wrestling, where the rules are more of an afterthought.
Luckily we ran into the below infographic from Andrew Barr, Mike Faille and Jonathan Rivait of the National Post. It breaks down the anatomy of a roller girl (easy now), explains the different positions, what areas are legal to hit, types of blocks and what the goals are in general. Wow, reading back over that sentence just confirms the whole sport is awesomely sexual.
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