Hey college kids! Tired of gumming up your keys with stale beer every time you shotgun a Bud Heavy? Don't you hate it when you're ready to go into straight BEAST MODE, only to poke a hole in the bottom of your can and have it spray everywhere? Sick of ruining your favorite frat shirt by wrapping it around your thumb when you create the mouth-hole so you don't slice the EFF out of your thumb like Big Mike did, and then he wouldn't stop bleeding so you had to dump him on the curb at the University Health Center?
Then the Miller Lite Punch Top is the beer can for you! Now you can have all the free-flowing action and excitement of a shotgunned man soda, without the neck pains and stressful balancing act. With its built-in perforated puncture top, take any pointy household item -- keys, chicken bones, bobby pins (for the ladies!) -- give the tab a quick poke and get ready to ride a tidal wave of smooth suds to the DOMEPIECE. Shotgunning has never been easier!
Seriously, this isn't a joke. Miller Lite invented the world's first shotgun-ready beer can. Our only question: how did it take society this long to streamline shotgunning? FINALLY, a beer delivery system innovation that actually serves a purpose. You're on notice, hypercolor Coors Light mountains.