Wrestling Rehash: A Ho-Hum ‘Raw’ Before ‘WrestleMania’

Credit: WWE.com

As fans prepare for “WrestleMania” this Sunday, the final week of wrestling is supposed to put that nice little bow on all of the matchups heading into the WWE‘s biggest event of the year. Well, the writers kinda screwed up and whipped together a program right before ‘Mania that was a perfect substitute for Nyquil. This past week of “RAW” pretty much did nothing to further the biggest matches of the year. The big three (John Cena vs. The Rock, CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho and Triple H vs. Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as special guest referee) saw their story lines fizzle with redundancy (Chris Jericho ribbing on CM Punk’s family oozes of snoredom). Also,  a crapshoot of matches seemed put together just to make sure some of these guys had something to do (Kane vs. Orton = zzzzz). We’re still going to watch “WrestleMania,” we just wish that the build for some of these high-profile matches would have been better…a lot better. Oh well, at least we’ll probably see a Spinaroonie.

The Good: Booker T At “WrestleMania”…SUCKA!

The lone bright spot on this past “RAW” (aside from Daniel Bryan‘s girl AJ slowly becoming the next Miss Elizabeth and Cody Rhodes verbal pimp-slaps of Big Show) was former “five time, five time, five time” champion Booker T being injected into the Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy tag team match at ‘Mania. Sure, the match is a waste of talent, as the guys were basically thrown into this bout to get a check and do a finishing move, but it’s always good to see Booker T in a match. But rest assured that the rest of this match will either piss you off for not allowing all the guys showcase their talent or put you to sleep. Hopefully, Mark Henry goes ape on everyone and pulverizes them to fairy dust. Probably won’t happen. R-Truth dancing into some wacky wrestling move? Probable. Who likes six-on-six tag team matches that aren’t Survivor Series-style anyway? That’s right! Nobody. Any match with Great Khali loses a star before the bell even rings.

The Bad: An All Around Awful “Raw”

With this being the final “Raw” before “WrestleMania,” you would anticipate awesome segments that build up each match and force those that were straddling the fence to cough up the $55 to watch ‘Mania this Sunday. Well, “Raw” really crapped their pants on this one. From beginning to end and just about everything in between, “Monday Night Wrong” did absolutely nothing to hype up the WWE’s biggest show of the year. We got two craptastic matches featuring yet another Brodus Clay squash match against yet another jobber (where do they keep finding these guys?) and a Divas match between Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly that had no bearing on anything worth talking about. The final segment between John Cena and The Rock really spelled out how tired we are of this match. Long stares, chants, long stares, chants and yap about how bad they needed to win. Whoop-dee-doo.

The Ugly: Christian Out Of “WrestleMania”

Well, this sucks. Just when Christian was set to return, he’s out again. The TV story had CM Punk injuring Christian after he got all pissy when Y2J started dissing his family. The real story appears to be that Christian is legitimately injured again. It’s sad because Christian is one of the few truly talented guys in the ring that gets the shaft all the time. All. The. Time. He won the title for like a week. Gee, thanks. He never gets the right rival and toils in the mid-card status with matches that insult Christian’s talent. Now he’ll miss a big paycheck. I can think of 10 wrestlers not better than Christian. I won’t dare say their names right now though. You can figure it out.

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