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In Twitterverse, we have seen the real Star Wars or, as we like to call them, Twars. Twars are where different celebrities come to Twitter to battle it out. They can battle about anything they choose. It does not have to make sense or even be spelled correctly. But only one celebrity wins, and it’s usually the one with the strongest command of the English language.
There are a lot of Twitter fights, but few that make us “LOL” or “LMAO.” It doesn’t matter if you’re laughing with them or at them. There’s no bad kind of laughing. Twars that make us laugh are the crème de la crème, retweet-worthy, Facebook-worthy, Clutch-worthy. We have read every Twitter war ever fought, and the following two fights made us laugh the most. They are Twitter gold. Which of these celebrity Twitter fights make you laugh more?
1. Jennifer Hudson vs. Angry Consumer
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After a thorough investigation of the crime scene, we’ve pieced the evidence together and this is how the battle went down. Out of nowhere, @1984Lips4Daze tweets JHUD the question, “Did you get surgery to assist in your weight loss? Or is it all Weight watchers?” Annoyed, JHUD tweets back:”pls don’t ask me no more dumb ass questions. If u try ww u would know u don’t need any assistance. U people r so brain wash.” And, boy oh boy, did that get 1984Lips4Daze’s extra large panties in a bunch. Please, readers, step back–1984’s about to go on a tweetrage:
“First of all me as a consumer I will ask you any question I damn well please. That malnutritioned body has gotten to ur head.”
“You walking around thinking your fab as a size 0. Yet people are leaking out that your bobblehead ass got surgery.”
“And for the record I don’t need weight watchers I work out daily. Something you should try instead of starving yourself.”
Damn! Her name should be @1984Hate4daze.
JHUD decides to get down and dirty, “lol u funny! Thank u for your hate n clearly the gym ain’t working for u cuz u look a mess.”
Oh JHUD, brace yourself. 1984 has some things to say to you:
“Bitch you have crows feet, laugh lines, your knees are knocked and on the Essence cover you had stretch marks. Do you really?”
“Your last cd hit six feet so the only way your getting paid is to starve and rotate them tired ass WW commercials.”
“Your husband is gay, everybody knows but your blind ass. But you can’t see that because your starving ass is going nuts.”
At this point, does JHUD just walk away? Nope! She threatens to take this twar to the streets: “watch what u say cuz I might have to buy a plane/flight n come show u some of my southside n then come home to where ur not…” 1984 don’t care. She comes back swinging:
“Bitch don’t do it because I will drag your ass from WHERE YOU AT all the way here down south.”
JHUD never responds because–we think she went into hiding.
Winner: Angry Consumer!
2. Dave Chappelle vs. Katt Williams
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In 2011, it looks like Dave Chappelle took a break from counting his millions to start a battle with fellow comedian Katt Williams when he tweeted: “Anyone seen the negro with the greasy hair? @kattwilliams.”
Katt took a break from flat ironing his hair to respond: “@davechappelle–Have you seen your career? it seems to have went missing?”
“Bitch worry about gettin some of that black off ya lips n get out of my perm”
“Bitch go stand on that corner your shift starts now i expect my money by 9am”
“N**** the only thing im smiling at is yo I work at Popeyes can I take yo order looking ass @davechappelle”
“Shoutout to @RealWizKhalifa for making #BlackAndYellow about nappy @kattwilliams and his upper row of teeth”
“…you the first man in history to be referred to as a nappy headed ho. head look like a used q-tip from a state prison”
“We know @kattwilliams takin fruitcake smilin’ lessons, I aint never seen a man with 10 zeros less in his bank acct grin so big”
At this point, we feel that Dave clinches the win with this tweet:
“Lets see @kattwilliams. Me: Chappelle Show. You: A purple suit, a burglary charge, & one pimp quote. #KillinYouSoftly—”
Winner: Dave Chappelle