Rubbernecker: Tattoo Come To You

Comedian Tom Sibley created the popular blog Subway Douchery, which makes fun of subway dimwits. Now he lives in subway-deficient Los Angeles and must mock people on the roads as Rubbernecker.

FINALLY! The only thing that was really holding me back from covering my body in ironic tattoos was the inconvenience of actually going to the tattoo parlor. Who wants to deal with all those rowdy drunken sailors or giggling groups of 20-year-old ladies who continue to get tramp stamps for unknown desperate reasons? It was only a matter of time until some genius created a tetanus delivery van!

When having needles burrowed deep into your skin and rolling the proverbial dice with any number of intravenously transferred diseases, you want safety and hygiene to be of the utmost importance. And nothing says, TOTALLY CLEAN! like a friggin’ van! It’s not like windowless white vans have any kind of negative stigma in modern culture. With any luck, vans like this will be as common as ice cream trucks on the Fourth of July and they’ll happily usher in the apocalypse.

Want Tom to mock a photo you took? Tweet it to @TheTomSibley or @MTVClutch.