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One of the most overrated nights of the year is almost here! That’s right, we’re talking of course, about New Year’s Eve. Overcrowded bars, expensive drinks, annoying drunks, bad music and many other factors contribute to lack of a good time. High expectations are often the key recipe for a disappointing evening with friends; however, MTV Clutch is here to prepare and lower your expectations with a list of standard and unavoidable NYE circumstances. So before we count down the seconds to 2012, let’s count down why New Year’s Eve just plain sucks. Besides, what better way to prepare for next year than with some good old-fashioned pessimism?
10. Marks End Of Good Cheer
Yeah, the holidays are over, so what’s next? A long, cold, dark winter season and the slow process of getting back into work mode.
9. Finding A Ride Home
You muster up the will to leave your warm, comfortable apartment for a night of champagne debauchery and even manage to have a half-decent time. Now, good luck finding a cab ride or a designated driver to take you 35 miles back to your apartment.
8. Fancy Attire Required
Most of the time New Year’s parties require a classy dress code. Be prepared to put on your starched Sunday best for an uncomfortable night that will send you to the dry cleaner the following morning.
7. Making Plans
Ideally, dinner and a movie would be the way to go. That never happens. Your “plans” will consist of attending parties hosted by people you don’t know and dance clubs with German techno blasting out your eardrums. The outcome is waking up on your friend’s couch missing your wallet and cell phone. Standard New Year’s Eve operating procedure.
6. New Year’s Resolutions
Sure, let’s talk about something you will never actually achieve. Whether it’s washboard abs, losing weight, reading more books or finding a job that you actually enjoy–it’s all just an elaborate setup for disappointment and failure.
5. Ball Drop Kisses
Ten…nine…eight…. Uh-oh, the 220 pound behemoth who is best friends with your dream girl is anxiously awaiting the ball drop to attack your face. Push her away and you look like a d***. Kiss her and you ensure a year of trying to avoid her. Either way, you lose and never date Ms. Right.
4. Crowded Bars
If you like to wait in line for drinks all night then you are a huge fan of New Year’s Eve. Not to mention standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers who scream in your ear to talk to that other person you don’t know standing behind you.
3. Amateur Night
It’s hard to think of something more painfully annoying than hanging around someone who can’t hold their liquor. Even more than Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day, New Year’s Eve is the night where the most destructive, boozed-up buffoons roll through the streets like a zombie apocalypse. The worst part is, most of the time these bumbling, tumbling drunks are your friends, or what most people refer to as “liabilities.” Have fun with that.
2. High Costs
If you haven’t already drained your bank account on holiday gifts, then you are the most selfish son of a bitch on the planet. The rest of us have already used up our party money. How are we supposed to pay the New Year’s cover charge that costs more than the iPad we just got from our rich aunt?
1. High Expectations
No one in the history of mankind has ever met the outlandish hopes placed on New Year’s Eve. Adults should be able to manage their expectations but never do on this night.
Happy New Year!