Matisyahu And Others Who Should Keep Their Facial Hair

Credit: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images/@matisyahu

Yesterday morning, Matisyahu alerted all of Twitter to a spiritual and artistic conversion he’d just undergone, noting “At a certain point, I felt the need to submit to a higher level of religiosity…I am reclaiming myself.” And that was all well and good (and just in time for the holidays!), but then we clicked on a corresponding photo upload, and sweet sassy molassy, do we wish we hadn’t. The suddenly beardless Chassidic rapper immediately reminded us of an even sicker and further disenfranchised Natalie Portman in “V for Vendetta.” Ain’t the look, guy. Ain’t the look.

In honor of the benevolent hip-hopper, we put together a little list of guys who probably should have just let their locks, brows or mutton chops be. No harm in a little grooming here and there, but if you start to bear a slight likeness to Lord Voldemort, it’s time to put down the clippers. That being said…

Tom Selleck

Credit: Carlo Allegri/Getty Images

Thankfully, the guy has reclaimed his signature upper-lip hair since 1997’s “In & Out,” but not even Magnum himself could have saved Selleck from the backlash incurred by his bare sub-nose skin patch. Plenty of guys couldn’t grow a quality mustache with a round-the-clock farmhand and 10 days of rain. Savor it, Selleck.

Joey Lawrence

Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

WHOA…where the f*** are the rest of this guy’s eyebrows? Long gone are the days of “Blossom,” but there’s no need for those things to follow. Like we pointed out: Grooming is acceptable. Aiming to look like one of the “Mob Wives” without her wig on is not.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Courtesy of Summit Entertainment

No, we’re not monsters, and the message of “50/50″ was not lost on us, but, like, couldn’t JGL have exposed the horrors of terminal illness underneath a more substantial hat? That dome is one that shouldn’t ever consciously decide to see the likes of day. He looks more like an alien than when he actually played an alien on “3rd Rock From The Sun.”

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