The story about a lawsuit involving a woman victimized by her ex-boyfriend’s revenge for her cheating, in which the tattooist boyfriend inked a giant, steaming, fly-covered, swirly pile of turd, is total crap. The Smoking Gun sniffed out the hoax after searching records for the lawsuit and came up empty. The tattoo/photograph in question actually surfaced 18 months ago, but only recently blew up when multiple outlets reported that Rossie Brovent from Dayton, Ohio, who wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy, sued for $100,000 when she discovered the large potty animal.
Interestingly, TSG doesn’t dispute the existence of the tattoo itself. So somewhere out there, “Rossie Brevent” might actually be walking around with one big doodie on her backside. Now that I’ve satisfied my personal dream of writing a story with the words “turd,” “crap,” “potty animal,” “poo” and “doodie,” check out four more stories with bogus tattoo claims.
“My Social Tattoo”
What kind of idiot would get images of her Facebook friends tattooed on her arm?! None, as it turns out, at least not yet. You may recall back in May when a woman purportedly got inked with images of her closest Facebook friends, saying, “These are the people closest to me (not all my Facebook friends). It’s a personal expression of who I am right now in this part of my life and the media world we live in. And of course I love the way it looks.”
But the tattoo was a tryout that sticks for five days. It was an advertising/publicity stunt for a tattoo shop–and a very successful one. So if you’re the right kind of idiot, desire attention or if you do want to express yourself just like this prankster, have at it. Actually, a sleeve of Facebook friends is less ridiculous than some other tats we’ve seen.
LSD-Laced Rub-On Tattoos
This hoax originated in the ’70s when a drug dealer supposedly looking to hook youngsters on LSD (or harm them) began handing out rub-on “blue star” tattoos laced with the drug. As quickly as the rumor spread, parents circulated a warning that the small papers might include pictures of Superman, Mickey Mouse and other cartoons. The frenzy has persisted for many years, despite a complete lack of a verified case, and blew up in 1992 when Bart Simpson was added to the list of cartoon lures.
The equation for hoax “success” was simple: Free s*** + drugs + concerned parents.
Girl With The 56 Facial Tattoos Of Stars
In this case, the blue stars are actually real. Only the story was bogus. In 2009, then 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck claimed she asked for three small stars but dozed off when she went under the gun and woke up to find a planetarium on her face. “It is terrible for me,” she said. “I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.” But later, she admitted that she wanted what she got and was “fully aware” that the tattooist was obliging her request; she came up with the widely reported story because her father freaked out. She intended to get the stars removed. “You’re a star,” Kimberley. “You’re a big shining star.” –Dirk Diggler
NBA Cap On Tattoos
The 2009 article that appeared in the Phoenix New Times is as painful to read now as it must have been then, when a reporter spent what amounts to 20 pages–including a history of tattoos dating back to Ancient Egypt–discussing an NBA limitation on tattoos that appeared on Foxsports.com, which reprinted the spoof story from a blog called Gerbil Sports Network. Ouch. The satirical piece about the proposed tattoo cap said that the teams would be limited to a total tattoo coverage of 61 percent of the upper arms and necks of players on their 12-man rosters. Ouch. The reporter later owned up to the cover story error, writing that they got punked.
Join us next week on Gerbil Sports Network, when the NFL considers a rule requiring teams to include at least 25 white men on their rosters.