Monday Morning Lingerie: No Fly Zone, Booty Dance Club And Ferrari Runs Wild


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos

Two close games this past weekend sent one team to the playoffs and two others fighting for their playoff lives. Perennial powerhouse Philadelphia Passion (perfect 3-0) positioned itself atop the Eastern Conference with a 24-12 victory over the Baltimore Charm, which dropped to 2-2 and will need help to get in. In the other contest, the Chicago Bliss (1-2) got off the schneid with a 40-34 victory over the Minnesota Valkyrie (1-2). Both teams actually remain in playoff contention but do not control their own destinies. Read on for some stats, images and tomfoolery.

HIGH-PERFORMANCE VEHICLE OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

Game MVP honors in the Bliss-Valkyrie contest went to ChrisDell “Ferrari” Harris, who gained 104 yards on nine carries, added one catch for 32 yards and scored two touchdowns. Obviously, she was running on all 12 cylinders. No tune-up required.

NO FLY ZONE OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

Philly’s defense held the Charm to one yard passing. As in, one yard passing. Quarterback Stacy Moon attempted 10 passes and completed one for that one lonely yard. The Passion secondary, led by Roach and Angela Perfetto, as well as the Philly pass rush, kept the air space on total lockdown. (Note: the photo above is actually a Valkyrie player. Major Tom to ground control: You’re hot. )

SECONDARY IS PRIMARY OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos

The Charm secondary had a fine game, too. It kept Philadelphia’s Roach-led passing attack to only 34 yards through the air. The Baltimore pass-covering bunch also supported the run defense; Ashley Helmstetter collected 4 tackles, Charli Jackson had 3 plus an interception, and Kelly Campbell notched 2.5 tackles plus half a sack. Speaking of Ashley Helmstetter…

MOST ADORABLE ASHLEY HELMSTETTER FAN OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

A young girl got to meet her sports hero, Ashley Helmstetter.

TWO-WAY STANDOUT OF THE WEEK


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Chicago’s D was led by Heather “Rockstar” Furr, who flew around the field like a heat-seeking missile and totaled 10.5 tackles. The LFL called it one of the best defensive performances of the season. On the other side of the ball, Furr completed 4 of 8 passes for 72 yards and ran 6 times for 30 yards and 4 touchdowns. Damn, girl!

HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

Notice Cydney Froelich on the left side of the image, falling down, hanging on to Ferrari’s jersey. Now take a look at Ferrari’s quads. Good luck.

SPARK THAT ROACH OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos

Marirose Roach got the start at quarterback this week, and although Philly’s passing game got stomped out Roach used her legs to get the offense moving. On 14 attempts, Marirose ran for 129 yards and 3 scores, which represented just about the entirety of Philly’s offense and all of its scoring. Of course there’s no shame in feeding the rock to the team’s best player.

SHE’S FLEXIBLE OF THE WEEK


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Some love for the hamstrings.

BOOTY-SHAKING DANCE CLUB OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

No driving, no sleeping
Live it up like it’s the weekend
When the DJ play the right song
Gonna drink, gonna party all night long

ATTRACTIVE BLONDE WITH A SIGN SITTING BETWEEN TWO SMILING, BESPECTACLED MEN HOLDING REFRESHMENTS


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos

Just what it says.

GRATUITOUS BUTT SHOT OF THE WEEK


Photo: Joe Petro/LFL Photos, J&K Creative!

Bliss.