In public, most celebrities are nothing more than glamorized, glorified puppets following the orders of their publicists and managers. But when Johnny Law comes knocking, they’re no longer shielded by their PR machines. Celebrities on the wrong side of the law are dragged down into the quicksand with the rest of us peons, once-bright stars sent hurtling back to Earth.
Thankfully, we have the celebrity mugshot to give us a brief glimpse into this unguarded moment, turning an outsize personality or wealthy baller into just another shackled dope with a ridiculous booking photo. So get your heaping dose of schadenfreude with the year’s 10 best celebrity mugshots.
10. Lindsay Lohan
Credit: LASD/Splash News
Though it’s an unremarkable photo, we’d be remiss to leave LiLo off this list, sheerly because you can set a clock with Lindsay’s mugshots. This latest one, from Oct. 19, shows she’s such an old pro. She now knows how to optimize the lighting in the booking office (previously, her skin matched her orange prison jumpsuit).
9. Andy Dick
Credit: Splash News
The latest from Andy Dick will never compete with his legendarily creepy 2008 mugshot, but to be fair that’s like asking Tiger Woods to replicate his 1997 Masters performance. On May 2, the troubled actor was arrested for being drunk and disorderly in a restaurant. On the bright side, he can skip that whole annoying trip to the post office and just use this as his passport photo. That’s assuming he’s even allowed to leave the country.
8. Hines Ward
Credit: DeKalb County/Splash News
The professional dancer pesky wide receiver was arrested on July 9 on DUI charges in Georgia, so we’re guessing his one shirt didn’t say “Obey The Law.” For some reason Steelers take to Georgia like Vikings on a pillaging run in Ireland.
7. Big Boi
Credit: MDCD/Splash News
Gotta love that he’s rocking the trademark Sir Lucious Left Foot scowl. Big Boi was arrested on Aug. 7 for possession of ecstasy and Viagra. He was presumably on his way to the world’s crunkest sex party, which then would’ve served as lyrical fodder for the rumored 2012 Outkast album. Now we’ll all be deprived of hearing about the sexcapades. Thanks a lot, Miami police.
6. Kurt Angle
Credit: Warren County PD
As a kid, you probably dreamed of winning a gold medal or becoming a professional athlete, and Kurt Angle probably had a lot to do with that, since he conquered both those feats when you were just a tyke. Oh, also, the former WWE star was arrested for DWI on Sept. 4, meaning it’s now MUCH more likely that you’ll accomplish something that Kurt Angle accomplished.
5. Jaime Pressly
Credit: London Entertainment/Splash News
According to our records, Jaime Pressly was the first celebrity to get pinched in 2011. What an honor. A great way to start the year. She was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving on Jan. 5, but it’s quite possible the skinny blonde was still running off drunk fumes from New Year’s Eve.
4. Rick Springfield
Credit: LA Sheriff Dept/Splash News
Even in his mugshot the guy exudes über-confidence that only a rocker-slash-soap star could pull off. Also, very few men can pull off feathered locks and a deep V, but in this May 1 booking photo following a DUI arrest, Springfield did just that.
3. Flavor Flav
Credit: Las Vegas PD/Splash News
Even though he looks like a mummy that just tipped out of a sarcophagus in an Indiana Jones-like booby trap, Flavor Flav managed to find the absolute lamest way to get arrested during a Friday night in Las Vegas. On April 29, cops nabbed him after realizing there were four warrants out for his arrest stemming from vehicular offenses, including a parking ticket and driving without a license. Sounds like he needs to take a page out of Bruno Mars‘ Vegas playbook.
2. Nicolas Cage
Credit: OPSO/Splash News
1. Pacman Jones
Credit: Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office
The man who ruined a fruitful NFL career by making it rain was arrested on July 10 after being drunk and disorderly in an Ohio bar. But that’s beside the point. Pippi Longstocking dreads + a neck brace = the Mona Lisa of celebrity mugshots. Thank you, Pacman. This made our year.
+ Check out all of our Best of 2011 coverage