LFL Trash Talk: Wu-Tang Expert Tiana Michaels

Click here for all of MTV Clutch’s LFL Trash Talk series.

Numerous LFL players told us they’ve never heard of Wu-Tang, so we didn’t expect to find an expert among the league’s twentysomethings. Tiana Michaels is just that, and she happens to be an exceptional trash talker, too. Catch the Baltimore Charm defensive end in action next Friday, 9/8c on MTV2, when the 2-1 purple people eaters clash with with 2-0 Philadelphia Passion.

Who’s your favorite member of Wu-Tang?
Do I have to pick one? I have several favorites for different reasons. So I will rank them in my favorite order, starting with:

1. RZA: He’s doing his thing producing movie scores, acting and rapping. I like to see people broaden their horizons and never limit themselves to one dimension.
2. Method Man: His flow is sick! Aside from his rapping flow, who didn’t enjoy “How High”?
3. Ghostface Killah: Pretty Toney, what more can I say? Every woman wants a man that is handsome but at the same time will send his goons out to handle dirty business.
4. Ol’ Dirty Bastard: His name, rapping style and antics will be forever missed.

What’s the worst trash talking line you’ve heard in the LFL?
The worst trash talking line came from my own two lips: “Hey you, big Sasquatch, monster-looking trick! Looks like the back of your ass was hit with a hailstorm before the game! Tighten that s*** up!”

Favorite beer or drink?
Anything with pineapple. Ciroc Coconut and pineapple juice is currently in first place.

Who’s your favorite NFL player and why?
Reggie White (#92). Since joining the LFL and being crowned as defensive end for the Baltimore Charm, I had to learn the position from the best. Yes, I watch NFL Network and watch the swift moves of Dwight Freeney, Julius Peppers and Trent Cole, but they all learned from others as well. Reggie White is the NFL’s all-time sack leader with 198 career sacks (he’s second behind Bruce Smith, who has 200. –Ed.). His bull rush was considered one of the most powerful, and he created his own move, “The Hump.” He didn’t get his nickname “The Minister of Defense” for being only a minister. He is a legend. Might I add, he came out of retirement and still was knocking heads off. I draw a lot of inspiration from this man. Rest in peace, Reggie White.

If you could be one cartoon character, who would it be?
The Pink Panther. He is too cool, and has his own theme song…who wouldn’t want their own theme song?

What body part are you most proud of?
My abs. These things are hard to come by nowadays.

You’re on death row, what’s your last meal?
Chipotle! Let me get a burrito bowl with double chicken, black beans, hot salsa, cheese, sour cream and lettuce. Oh, and don’t forget the chips.

Should toilet paper roll out from the bottom or the top?
Always the top. That makes it easy when you’re in a rush.

What’s one word or phrase that should never be spoken again?
“DUDE!!!” Please retire this word and never bring it back.

If you could deep-fry anything what would it be?
A car. If they can deep-fry Twinkies, Snickers, Kool-Aid and anything else not good for you, why not a car?