At some point it happens, men and women have to do “couple stuff.” Rather than let her dictate the activities, which will include you holding her handbag in the mall and pretending to be cool with it, why not hook her on video games? Impossible, you say? If your girlfriend isn’t excited about your games, it’s because you haven’t presented her with the right one. To help you discover the title that will make her as addicted as you, we’ve listed 13 awesome games by the type of girlfriend who will love each one. Soon “couples time” will be in front of the gaming system of your choice…and she will think it’s her idea.
For The Girlfriend Who Thinks She Can Drive
Title: “Mario Kart” (Wii)
Price: $50 with Wheel
What better way to have a driving battle of the sexes than doing it from your couch? “Mario Kart” combines driving skill, shrewd moves and head-to-head competition. It’s not unusual for Peach to drive past Luigi and leave some dust behind. Make it personal by racing your own Mii characters.
For The Girlfriend With A God Complex
Publisher: 2K Games
Price: $Free for Facebook account holders
With the ability to create a virtual city and control its progress or demise, ladies who love power will enjoy this title thoroughly. She will endure many sleepless nights trying to overtake banks and food sources to compete with the big boys. Treat the people right or risk having your own version of Occupy.
For The Girlfriend Who Enjoys Nature
Title: “Bass Pro Shops The Hunt: Trophy Showdown” (Wii)
Publisher: XS Games
Even animal lovers will enjoy exercising their aggression by capping digital animals. “Bass Pro Shops The Hunt: Trophy Showdown” is a realistic hunting game that features 12 hunting regions, 24 different animals to target and oh yeah, turns your Wii remote into a 22″ hunting controller. What better way to finish watching the GOP debates than by firing off a few 308 rounds?
For The Girlfriend Who Dances Her Ass Off
Title: “Just Dance 3″ (Xbox 360 Kinect)
We all know the girl who just wants to dance with her girlfriends until the sun comes up. Here is a simple solution to make sure she is dancing with you and not with some great-looking, rich stranger at the club. Whether it’s just the two of you or another adventurous couple doing the choreographed foursome, “Just Dance 3″ is one of the best dance games for the 360.
For The Girlfriend Who Demands Couples Therapy
Title: “Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One” (PS3 Exclusive)
Listen, not every couple makes it through the tough times. For those who need some help in this area, pick up a copy of “Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One.” The latest in the “R&C” franchise requires a great deal of teamwork. As Ratchet, Clank, Qwark or Dr. Nefarious, players tackle all new mysterious challenges. Features such as over-the-top weapons, four-player Coop mode, side by side or online play all in HD splendor make this title a bargain over couples therapy.
For The Girlfriend Into LARP
Title: “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” (PS3/PC/Xbox 360)
Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
Playing “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” really puts you into another universe. With wide open worlds, amazing graphics and interesting dialogue you really become lost in another time. Since getting the game, we’ve been pretending to be Dragonborn, battling dragons and trying to drop spells on our girlfriends. Pick this title up and a few battle axes to really spice things up.
For The Girlfriend Obsessed With George Lucas
Title: “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II” (Multiple Platforms)
Publisher: Lucas Arts
If your girlfriend has dressed as Princess Leah more than once, marry her. For the wedding present, buy her “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II.” Even better, wait until 2012 to pick up the Xbox 369 Kinect version. Killer graphics and motion sensing will have her dressing up as Slave Leah all the time. Win-Win for all!
For The Girlfriend With Mercenary Fantasies
Title: “Blackwater” (Xbox 360 kinect)
Publisher: 505 Games
Let’s face it, soldiers are hot. To avoid your lady leaving you for a sharpshooter, let her become one with this game. Developed with guidance from members of Xe Services (formally BlackWater Worldwide) this FPS for Kinect is a great way to experience life as a gun for hire–without the bullets actually whizzing by. After you master the 25+ Kinect moves, the two of you just might be ready to take over small country.
For The Girlfriend Who’s Good With Her Hands
Title: “Fruit Ninja Kinect” (Xbox 360 Kinect)
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Price: 800 MS points ($10)
All guys look for certain things in a woman: nice eyes, great smile, smarts and of course a lady that is good with her hands. To see the latter trait, pick up “Fruit Ninja Kinect.” Drop it in and check out the way she cuts open pineapples, kiwis and oranges to make virtual fruit cocktails. However, if she starts believing her hands are real Katana blades, dump her immediately.
For The Girlfriend Who Loves Disneyland
Title: “Kinect: DisneyLand Adventures” (Xbox 360)
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Some people just cannot get enough Disneyland, no matter what their age. Now, if you’re girlfriend bugs you for the enchanted kingdom, you can recreate it in your living room without the high prices, annoying fat kids and long lines. Explore the attractions, meet the characters and even give Peter Pan a high-five. Maybe you can find out where virtual Walt is hiding out.
For The Hard-Boiled Girlfriend
Title: “L.A. Noire” (PS3\Xbox360)
Publisher: Rockstar Games
If your girlfriend likes detective novels and doesn’t mind being called a “dame” or “broad” then “L.A. Noire” is for her. Set in late 1940s Los Angeles, this dark and violent detective thriller recreates that era better than “Mad Men” does the ’60s. As Detective Cole Phelps, you search for clues, chase down suspects and interrogate witnesses by any means necessary. It’ll make your lady a regular snoop–just make sure to hide your porn better.
For The Fortune Hunter Girlfriend
Title: “Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception” (PS3)
If your lady makes you watch “Indiana Jones” movies and regularly books tickets to Marrakesh, save money by getting her this game. She can get all the adventure she needs with Nathan Drake, who may be the next Dos XX spokesman as the most interesting man in the world. It’ll also make your sexual role-play much more exciting…and dangerous.
For The Girlfriend Who Sleeps With Cats
Title: “SIMS 3 PETS” (various platforms)
First of all, why are you with the crazy cat lady? Never mind, we’re not here to judge. Here is the chance to create a perfect pet with no dander or litter box smell. “S3P” lets your lady control the breed, traits, skills and outings of a virtual beast. If you have a Kinect device, the pet even obeys voice commands. Maybe if she has something else to boss around, she’ll stop bugging you to do chores.