Steven Tyler was in a freak shower accident yesterday and it’s absolutely no surprise that the body part he severely injured is his mouth. Specifically, his big-ass teeth, a part of his gigantic kisser that may or may not have been used to film outer space scenes in “Armageddon.” According to a Reuters report, Tyler slipped in his hotel shower while on tour with Aerosmith in Paraguay. He got patched up a local medical center, where he received facial stitches and emergency dental work to repair two lost teeth.
Tyler’s mouth is his trademark, but given its size, his kisser is an at-risk body part. A couple years ago, Tyler fell off a stage in South Dakota and suffered head, neck and shoulder injuries but managed to avoid damage to his grill. This time he wasn’t so lucky. Tyler, whom we wish a speedy recovery, isn’t the only musician with a large, distinct, at-risk feature. Click on for a few more.
The Roots and “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” house drummer Questlove, who hasn’t always had a large Afro, rocks out the dome piece on full blast these days. His Afro actually got Quest in a beef with Nivea when the company ran–and later pulled–a ridiculous advertisement suggesting that bearded persons with big hair are uncivilized. In any event, Questlove does have a ton of hair on top, and if he doesn’t watch out it could get stuck in elevator doors, or be pulled by a deranged fan.
Nicki Minaj’s Booty
We’ve previously covered the YMCMB princess’s shapeshifting booty, noting that at times it appears large and other times enormous. While there’s no official measurement, we can safely describe it as BOOTYLICIOUS. But with great booty comes great responsibility: Nicki had better watch out for walls or doorframes when she makes wide turns. Take it from Under Armour–”We must protect this house!!!”
Tyler the Creator’s Ears
Here’s a lyric from Tyler‘s title track off his debut album Bastard: “I’m tall, dark, skinny, my ears are big as f***.” And it’s true–Tyler’s ears are big as f***. It should be obvious, but this is completely unscientific conjecture: Big ears can get hit by things. So he ought to be careful with those Dumbo wings.
Josh Homme’s Head
Queens of the Stone Age frontman Josh Homme is tall. Real tall–he’s 6-foot-5, which is two inches taller than Bulls guard Derrick Rose and only one inch shorter than Michael Jordan. The height must been great for Homme when he played high school football in California, but these days when he’s walking through low doorframes or getting out of small cars, he’d better watch his dome. But if he does take a pop to the melon, he can seek comfort in the Facebook group “I hit my head on things because I’m too tall.”
Cee-Lo Green’s Teeth
Steven Tyler’s accident ought to be a warning to Cee-Lo Green, whose signature feature is likewise his large mouth and pearly white teeth. Look at how wide his mouth is open in the photo above. Any number of insects or disease-carrying small animals could enter or perch itself in his face cavity. We mean this politely, Cee-Lo: Shut your trap.