Monday Morning Lingerie: Talkin’ Disney And Superwoman As Mist Destroy Chill

The Mother Nature Bowl–Friday night’s meeting between the Seattle Mist and Green Bay Chill–turned into a tale of two teams heading in opposite directions. The Mist, winless last year, lambasted the Chill 42-8 and now sit atop the Western Conference standings. The Chill, the first team to pick up its second loss of the season, now sit at the bottom.

Led by game Co-MVPs Jessica Hopkins (WR/S) and Kam Warner (RB/LB), The Mist dominated both sides of the ball, collecting 229 yards of total offense. The Chill had opportunities but sputtered repeatedly near the end zone. It wasn’t all bad for Green Bay, but that depends on your level of respect for the running ability of cartoon characters. More on that below.

FREAKISH TWO-WAY PERFORMANCES OF THE WEEK

Hopkins and Warner and bears, oh my. Jessica Hopkins, a personal trainer by day, personally trained the scoreboard with two catches for 42 yards and two touchdowns on offense, and two interceptions from the safety position. Kam Warner scored three touchdowns on four totes for 51 yards and three catches for 54 yards receiving; she added 8.5 tackles on defense. For good measure during halftime, Hopkins and Warner also gave a lecture concerning nuclear disarmament while rescuing several kittens from a burning building. The pair shared MVP honors for their efforts.

DISNEY-THEMED QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Mickey Mouse could have run on us today,” Chill head coach Gilbert Brown said. “It’s our tackling. We are not physical enough.” It’s a sad but true indictment of the Chill defense. But did he have to throw Mickey under the bus to get the point across? Why not go after Goofy? He’s uncoordinated and kind of annoying.

ALMOST A TREND OF THE WEEK

The Mist opened the game with a sweep pass that they broke for a touchdown. Quarterback Angela Rypien pitched the ball to Laura Creel, the Mist’s quarterback last season, who hit Jessica Hopkins for a 35-yard touchdown pass. Two weeks ago, Baltimore likewise ran a trick play on the game’s first down when backup quarterback Morgan Spencer took a pitch from Stacy Moon, who found Kyle DeHaven down the seam for a 35-yard score.

RED MEANS STOP OF THE WEEK

The Chill just couldn’t get the job done in the red zone. The offense struggled but did move the ball, tallying 133 yards of offense. However, on four trips into the red zone, they scored a touchdown only once. They have to get better in short yardage situations, especially with the defense struggling. Or in John Madden language, a lot of squiggles and some loud noises.

NICE EFFORT ON A LOSING CAUSE OF THE WEEK

Anne Erler gives the Chill a reason to hope. The quarterback started at safety on defense where she picked off two Rypien passes. On the offensive side, Erler completed 12 of 26 passes, but only for a handful of yards because Green Bay attempted so many short routes and screens. Erler also added 40 yards of rushing, or in other words, 40 yards of running for her life.

IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, IT’S A MIST DEFENDER OF THE WEEK

“Wheeeee!”

THE LUCKIEST FAN OF THE WEEK

He’s never going to wash that chest again. It’s cool, though–this guy didn’t shower much beforehand.

GRATUITOUS BUTT SHOT OF THE WEEK

Don’t thank us, thank the three-point stance.

Photos courtesy of Joe Petro, LFL National Director of Photography, Mike McGinnis, Official Photographer of the Green Bay Chill and B.J. Fleming.