One of the greatest innovations in video games is the gamer achievement. These badges of digital honor can be earned to proudly show off your gaming prowess to those you wish to intimidate with the very sight of your digital avatar. Plus, they're great for the ego.
Of course, not all achievements are created equal. Some, in fact, are so easy to get that your grandmother, who is scared of electricity, could get them. So if you’re looking to pad your achievement points or give your fellow online gamers more of a reason to fear you, pick up some of these ridiculously easy achievement badges.
1. 'Press Start to Play' from 'The Simpsons Game'
To be fair, "The Simpsons Game," much like the big screen adaptation that hit the theaters around the same time this game hit shelves, wasn’t just a way for Fox to cash in on the long running cartoon series. It was also a clever way for the genius writers of "The Simpsons" to poke some much needed fun at the gaming world. One way they did that was by awarding players this achievement for simply pushing "start" to the start their game.
Only Way It Could Be Easier: If the technology were advanced enough, you could win an achievement simply for buying the game even if you never played it. And trust us, this is Fox we’re talking about. Somebody's already working on this one.
2. 'Freefall' from 'Dead Rising'
Only Way It Could Be Easier: If trying to figure out a way to throw another human being or voluntarily throw yourself off a tall structure confuses and befuddles you, then trying to earn gamer achievements should be the least of your worries. Learning how to feed and bathe yourself should be at the top.
3. 'Enter History Book' from 'Madden '06'
This achievement may sound like something that may actually be worthwhile, even for a video game. When we first heard of it, we thought "Madden '06" players had to earn some impressive historic record such as completely demolishing an opposing team's defensive line by putting them all on injured reserve or injecting your star player with the most amount of steroids before a single game. In fact, all you have to do just open a "history book" screen in "franchise mode" and boom, you've got the achievement along with some "tough actin' Tinactin."
Only Way It Could Be Easier: Open an actual book, as long as it wasn't the game's instruction manual and you didn't read any words.
4. 'Slack Attack' from 'You Don't Know Jack'
The revival of this almost forgotten but badly missed trivia game series from 1990s brought back something that's been lacking from games as of lately: intentional laughter. This "You Don't Know Jack" achievement, however, actually rewards abject failure to anyone who gets a negative $1 million score during the final "Jack Attack" round, which means they are either sitting on the controller during the last round or drooling on it.
Only Way It Could Be Easier: The game could come with a complimentary roll of tape to keep the button pushed down during the final round.
5. 'Quitter!' from 'NHL 2K7'
Nothing makes multiplayer games more annoying than a player who doesn’t have the attention span or bandwidth to finish a full game. Sure, they count as a win in your favor but feel like the participation trophy you got from little league soccer. This "NHL 2K7" achievement actually rewards players who do just what the title says 10 times whether or not they actually take their puck and go home.
Only Way It Could Be Easier: What could be easier than quitting? It’s the next best thing to trying.
6. Any achievement from 'Avatar: The Burning Earth'
The fact "Avatar: The Burning Earth" has any claim to fame is a miracle in itself since it's big screen counterpart was seen by fewer people than sightings of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster or J.D. Salinger. Not only are the achievements in this game easy to get by doing practically nothing, but you can also earn all five of them in literally the first few screens of the game, simply by playing a very easy level consisting of very dumb enemies and knocking them out with combo points that gradually award you all the achievements.
Only Way It Could Be Easier: The enemies throw themselves off a cliff and commit suicide, giving you the combo points needed to earn the achievements and earn an extra special and even super easier "Freefall" achievement.
7. 'Looks Like Cleanup on Aisle 4' from 'Duke Nukem 3D'
It must have been hard for the makers of this downloadable remake of "Duke Nukem 3D" not to put this one in since the entire game has the greatest juvenile sense of humor since your creepy uncle. In fact, we’d be disappointed if they didn’t. This easy to obtain achievement can go up on your reward board simply by walking into the backroom on the "Duke Burger" stage and making Duke step in dog crap.
Only Way It Could Be Easier: You’re probably eating right now and we’d rather not ruin your appetite.