Comedy Central tapped Anthony Jeselnik as the comic to inject young blood into the “The Roast of Donald Trump.” He did more than just that. After The Situation bombed worse than Michael Moore at the 2003 Academy Awards, Jeselnik approached the podium and methodically mowed down everyone onstage. Snoop Dogg, The Situation and Donald Trump may not have been able to pronounce “Jeselnik” before the show, but the name certainly haunted them afterward.
Tonight, Monday September 19th, at 10/9c on Comedy Central, the Pittsburgh native returns for an encore performance during “The Roast of Charlie Sheen.” In an exclusive interview, Jeselnik reveals to MTV Clutch what material Comedy Central deemed too offensive, why Dog The Bounty Hunter‘s wife booed him with fury and which of his jokes Charlie Sheen asked the network to cut.
Did Comedy Central say any topics were off-limits?
For Mike Tyson, yeah: rape jokes were off-limits, his kid dying, retarded jokes and then there’s some case where he punched a photographer that is still in court so we couldn’t talk about that. I had all these rape jokes for him and they were killing. One is, “Mike Tyson, you’re the most likeable guy, everyone likes you, even the girl you raped lost $50 on the Holyfield fight.” And another, “Mike Tyson never had strong male influence growing up because his father left the family after Mike raped him.” My first joke for Tyson was, “Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?” I knew that wouldn’t get a big reaction because a lot of people don’t know Pryor’s album titles. They’ll probably cut that joke out.
It was weird because Tyson had been yelling at all the other roasters, like full-on yelling during their sets, but he was just looking at me like a scared kid almost. Patrice O’Neal was sitting by him, and after I said that Pryor joke, he yelled, “Too many white people!” Meaning, that was why people didn’t get the joke, but I thought he was heckling me, so I turned to him and said, “Too many white people? You know what you never hear? Too few black people.” And that got a huge response. But they’ll probably cut that because then they’d have to leave the Pryor joke.
Do you know which of your jokes were cut for tonight’s airing?
No, I did 10 minutes so it’s hard to know what they’ll cut. I did a joke about Tyson’s face tattoo they may cut: “Mike Tyson, people don’t know why you got a face tattoo. It’s to remind you every time you look in the mirror that converting to Islam is ONLY the second dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” I also did an Evander Holyfield joke they’ll cut: “Evander Holyfield wanted to be here tonight but he couldn’t because he’s busy being retarded.”
Any interesting backstage stories?
I did a joke for Charlie Sheen where I say, “Charlie Sheen called his boss on ‘Two and a Half Men‘ a ‘Jew ki**’ and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy. If you could do that and keep your job, then everybody would do it.” When I sat down, Sheen turned to me and said, “Jew ki**?” I said, “Yeah, that’s what you said, right?” He just shook his head and said, “No.” I was like, “Really? I did the research.” I don’t know, he may have said they misquoted him or something, I don’t really remember–I was so in the zone after doing my set.
Was anything off-limits for Charlie Sheen?
No, he said everything’s cool. Although, he was on “Leno” on Thursday and they asked him if he had a problem with any of the roast jokes. He said there was only one he asked Comedy Central to cut and it was mine. It goes, “Charlie Sheen has a fascinating family. His brother is Emilio Estevez, his father is Martin Sheen and his mother is some dumb bitch.” Almost everyone started booing me on that one. I looked down in the crowd and Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife was booing with a fury.