On the extra-special, ultra-rare, only-sold-at-Target version of Lil Wayne's The Carter IV, there is an extra treat of a song called "Novacane." Given its name, you'd be justified in thinking it's about a particularly memorable trip to the dentist's chair. It's not. Remember, "Novacane" is a rap song and that means it has to be a metaphor for something. In this case, Wayne's referring to the numbing powers of sweet, sweet cocaine, which Weezy, at least according to this song, once had a steamy love affair with (unless that's a metaphor as well). "Novacane" isn't the first hip-hop song that sounds like it's about dentistry but has absolutely nothing to do with the dark arts (dentistry is evil). Here are nine other examples and what they're actually about.
Buck 65, "Mouth Wash"
What you think it's about: The seemingly endless battle against gingivitis and plaque fought tirelessly by courageous warriors like Listerine.
What it's actually about: The "F word" and how Buck 65 doesn't feel the need to use it, unless he's making sweet freaky love to his lady.
Juvenile, "Flossin' Season"
What you think it's about: That time of the year when it's particularly important for Juvenile to floss chunks of food from between his teeth.
What it's actually about: That time of the year when it's particularly important to show off all the expensive stuff you own.
N.W.A., "Just Don't Bite It"
The Roots, "The Roots Is Comin'"
What you think it's about: When a dentist is drilling into the root of a tooth, he yells to his dental hygienist, "The root's coming."
What it's actually about: The hip-hop group, The Roots, are coming.
TLC, "No Scrubs"
What you think it's about: A counter-intuitive treatise against scrubbing one's teeth.
What it's actually about: Loser dudes and how TLC is uninterested in them.
R Kelly, "Sweet Tooth"
What you think it's about: A proclivity for sweets that while immediately gratifying, eventually leads to cavities and tooth decay.
What it's actually about: R Kelly wanting to sex it up, again and again.
Snoop Dogg, "Dogghouse in Your Mouth"
What you think it's about: Terrible dental hygiene that makes your mouth smell like a doghouse.
What it's actually about: The wonderful attributes of Snoop Dogg's Dogghouse Records (since renamed Doggy Style Records).
Ja Rule, "The Crown"
What you think it's about: The dental object that covers a tooth's cavity or a dental implant.
What it's actually about: People trying to hate on Ja Rule and how those haters will never take his crown (the metaphoric one on his head, not the one in his mouth).
Frank Ocean, "Novacane"
What you think it's about: A cover version of Lil Wayne's "Novacane," with added-in shout-outs to Odd Future.
What it's actually about: Frank Ocean's original song about gettin' numb. Like Weezy's track, it has nothing to do with dental practices.