7 Important Things Plus Ring Girl Suzanne Nakata

LADIES The Hawaii native is a new Superior Cage Combat ring girl [Cage Potato]
Doing her sexy mermaid impression.

METAL Wayne Static’s “Assassins of Youth” (video) [NoiseCreep]
Static began writing it with Crown Royal and whippits and finished years later, sober.

WATCH OUT Office dodgeball Part 3–return of the Dahmer [WGRD]
Poor aim, but we’ll let it go because, hey, who else terrorizes co-workers with dodgeballs?

LIMITED BATCH Beyond Schweddy Balls: 10 discontinued B&J’s flavors [Mental Floss]
Get those Schweddy Balls in your mouth before time runs out.

DEEP-FRIED The dumbest fried foods (and the cities that love ‘em) [TruTV]
Deep-Fried Schweddy Balls?! (It’s way too much fun to say “Schweddy Balls.”)

GLOVES Ridiculous 600 lb. vs. 169 lb. MMA mismatch [Holy Taco]
Finally, watch a man run for his life after prodding an angry immobile giant.

POLL Who is the greatest “Star Wars” character of all time? [NextMovie]
We voted for the small, green, wise man, but he’s far behind.

GREEN Kickass Kicks of the Day: Adidas Superstar II Kermit the Frog Edition [Daily What]
Speaking of small, green wise creatures.