The Outlawz recently told VladTV that they honored Tupac Shakur‘s death by throwing a party on the beach and smoking his ashes. “We twisted up some of that great grandaddy California kush and mixed the big homie with it,” said Noble, one of the group’s members. They claim those were their leader’s wishes, based on one of his lyrics. It was nice of 2Pac to give such specific instructions on how to properly honor his passing. Unfortunately, not every rapper does that, which means when they pass we’ll be forced to memorialize them based only on their personalities and popular songs. Here are our suggestions for how we should honor five of our favorite rappers.
Skee-Lo will likely meet a tame demise, seeing as though he never has any real beef with anyone. He only wants a few things out of life: to be taller, a baller and to have a girl who looked good. We think an appropriate send-off would be a party, where a 6-foot-9 statue of Skee-Lo stands in the center of the room. Even though she didn’t really know him, Leoshi would be present and crying, knowing she will never be able to give Skee-Lo a chance.
Tyler, The Creator
We’re sure Tyler, The Creator has many years ahead of him. But when he does pass, we imagine he’ll want his life and work to be celebrated with something involving a rowdy show, large bugs, drunk white girls, skateboards and people puking.
It’s going to be a sad day when we lose Lil Wayne, so a proper good-bye will be particularly important. We’re thinking a wake where syrup will be served and shy bitches will be scarce. There are no shy bitches in heaven, Young Weezy.
When The Reaper comes for Wiz Khalifa, Death should be wearing black and gold. In fact, everyone should wear Steelers’ colors the entire week of his passing, even Baltimore and Cleveland fans. Pittsburgh will fly all flags at half-mast and replace the national anthem with “Black And Yellow” at sporting events.
When Coolio takes his final fantastic voyage, the world will mourn the loss of a hip-hop hairstyle legend. One of his six children or one of their four mothers will put together a memorial. Everyone will eat steak with their beans and rice and no one would live in fear of a drive-by. Also, Coolio’s collection of hats with holes in the top will be auctioned off to support an underprivileged schools charity.