The addition of a downloadable Freddy Krueger to WB’s already awesome “Mortal Kombat” reboot is an ultimate fanboy’s wet dream. Players can use the horror icon to hack and slash their enemies to pieces and finish them by sending their badly beaten bodies in an express elevator to hell. Hopefully, this means more of horror’s best (or worst) are about to join the franchise. Naturally, we have a few suggestions.
1. Jason Voorhees
Another opportunity to watch Freddy versus Jason in a bare-knuckle, blood-spraying brawl would make up for wasting so much time on every sequel after the fourth in both series. Plus, it’s a mystery as to why Jason hasn’t really gotten his own video game. We’re not counting the original NES version because our therapist says it’s better not to dwell on the pain it caused.
Fatality: Cranium-to-crotch slice of the machete
2. Michael Myers
Michael Myers, true star of the “Halloween” series, may feel like “Jason-lite” in some horror aficionado’s eyes. However, his equally callous killing style makes him a perfect addition to the franchise, even if his slow walk means we have to wait five minutes for him to get from one side of the screen to the other. He’s the Brown University of cold-blooded killers–not as widely known but still highly respected. His unrelenting tenacity to slice up every nearby human being makes him bred to compete in the tournament for “Earthrealm,” even though he’s responsible for murdering a massive number of its inhabitants.
Fatality: Slowly rips apart opponents limb by limb
Although a bit on the small side, Chucky has the determination of Rudy with a long mean streak and more kills than most nonplastic psychopaths twice his size. This doll carries the dirty soul of a serial killer, and his ability to come back to life and rack up kills in each sequel makes him anything but a “Good Guy.” Armed with basic axe throws, knife fighting and even the ability to turn other toys into his murderous allies, Chucky would certainly make an interesting wild card in the “MK” tournament. Basically, he’d be The Joker from “Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe” in this new universe, but with less makeup.
Fatality: Decapitation with school-issued wooden ruler
4. Queen Alien
If a true cold-blooded killer is what you’re after, you can’t do much better than an actual cold-blooded reptile. This ruthless extraterrestrial has already done her share of showdowns (technically she’s 0-2 with the Predator) and her acid-spitting tongue, razor-sharp claws and teeth, and Octo-Mom-like reproduction would be a welcome addition. Just imagine her finishing off a downed opponent by implanting an alien baby in their stomach. Now there’s a “Babality” code worth memorizing.
Fatality: Shoves her egg in opponent’s throat, then hatchling bursts through his chest
Amazingly, a chainsaw has never been added to one of the “MK” combatant’s arsenal of weaponry. Most of them already have the ability to spit acid in someone’s face, shoot lightning out of their fingertips or rip out a spine through the top of an opponent’s head, but chain saws add style to any fight. Hearing that loud gas-powered roar as it’s swung like a long broadsword and the satisfying “scrunch” of digging into an opponent’s torso just makes you feel alive (even more so when compared to the person who just bear-hugged the business end of a buzz saw). Leatherface, star of the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” films, should absolutely be in our corner. A fatality move featuring that iconic chain saw would put us off meat for at least a week.
Fatality: Skins the opponent’s body down to its skeleton with his trusty chain saw
6. Ash Williams
Horror cinema is dangerously short on heroes, so it’d be nice to include one of the best in “Mortal Kombat.” Ash Williams, from the “Evil Dead” series, would have his appendage-attached chain saw, trusty “boomstick” and could pull out the Necronomicon to cast magical spells that send opponents to the Netherworld. That is, if he can get the complex pronunciation correct. “Yeah, and maybe I’m a Chinese jet pilot.”
Fatality: Close-range shotgun blast to the face
7. Asami Yamazaki
No fighting game is complete without a sultry and deadly female. When it comes to the horror world, no one is colder and deadlier than Asami Yamazaki from the Japanese cult classic “Audition.” Inspired by the film, her “Fatality” would be sawing off some poor schlub’s foot using nothing more than serrated piano wire. Try not to think about it for too long.
Fatality: Piano wire and imagination
8. The Blob
This classic movie monster may seem an odd choice; however, The Blob is an unstoppable eating machine and completely malleable, so his opponent would literally have to learn how to nail Jell-O to a wall. Just imagine using this giant pink mess to swallow an enemy whole. Not being able to stomach the sight of strawberry ice cream afterward would be worth it.
Fatality: Swallows and dissolves opponent’s entire body