It’s time to celebrate, Tumblr fans! Mr. Val Kilmer, aka Iceman, aka Voice of KITT, aka Fat Jim Morrison, has joined the popular social networking blog and he’s letting his hair down. So far he’s posted his “bio” written in the third person. Did you know that Kilmer is not only an actor, but also a poet, artist, singer, community activist, father? You would if you followed him. He’s also put up some links, a few posts about what he’s up to and a TuneWidget of his tunes, including “All Children Are Beautiful” and “Hold On To Daddy” (he sounds drunk on that one). Currently, Kilmer is filming an experimental film with “Kids” writer/”Gummo” director Harmony Korine, in which he plays a motivational speaker. They must be out of ideas already because Kilmer’s asking his followers to suggest topics for his character to speak about. Heck, here are six that immediately spring to mind. If they don’t go in the movie, they better get answered on Tumblr.
1. Was the homoeroticism in “Top Gun” intentional?
Navy guys are close. They have to be because their lives depend on it. However, what is up with Iceman snapping his teeth at Maverick? Is he trying to be a shark? Because it definitely looks more sexual than scary. Plus, the shirtless beach volleyball scenes are played slow-motion in every gay bar across the country.
2. What happened to Slider?
Remember Slider from “Top Gun”? He was Iceman’s “Goose” and then disappeared. Did Kilmer mistake him for a hamburger slider and eat him?
3. What’s it like to voice the crappy KITT?
In the 2008 reboot of “Knight Rider,” Kilmer voiced the talking car. Did he go method and live like a car for months beforehand? Probably not, since cars don’t drink beer. That’s probably why the show only lasted one season.
4. Does Nic Cage’s hair look as weird in person as onscreen?
2009’s “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” is an awesome flick, and Nicolas Cage and Kilmer are both great in it. However, it’s hard to tell which is more distracting: Cage’s hair or Kilmer’s neck fat.
5. Can scientists really make a laser “hotter than the sun”?
OK, Kilmer is an actor and not a rocket scientist, but he did star in “Real Genius,” so he must keep up on these things, right? It’s a question that has been haunting every kid who grew up in the ’80s for decades. It needs to be discussed!
6. Can Joel Schumacher ruin anything he wants?
“Batman” was awesome until “Batman Forever.” Some point to Val Kilmer’s portrayal of the dark knight as the reason it stunk. However, the finger should be pointed at the director Joel Schumacher. That man has tainted everything from John Grisham novels to explosions and Transformers. Is nothing sacred to him? ANSWER ME!