Earlier this week, Kim Kardashian went to take a dive Scrooge-McDuck-style into her pool of money, gold coins and diamonds. Unfortunately, the money level was too shallow and she hit her head on the bottom. Needing to refill the pit to its proper 10-foot depth, Kardashian decided to sue Old Navy for using a woman in their commercials that looks like her. In our entirely subjective opinion, the girl does bear a resemblance to the Armenian princess, but that’s not scientific or anything. So, FOR SCIENCE, we ran the Old Navy girl’s face through the most advanced (free) celebrity look-alike generator online, Picadilo.com, and this is what we got…
It turns out Ethan Hawke has a better case against Old Navy than Kim Kardashian. He should totally get in on that lawsuit. When was the last time he worked?
So, following that same logic to help in-need celebrities who need free money, we ran five of the most popular commercial spokespeople through the look-alike generator: Precocious Toyota Highlander Kid, Attractive T-Mobile Lady, Funny Old Spice Guy (aka Isaiah Mustafa for horny ladies), The Heineken “Entrance” Guy and The PC from Mac Ads (aka John Hodgman for hipsters). It turns out these celebrities all have a more legit claim to corporate advertising lawsuits than Kardashian.
Precocious Toyota Highlander Kid
Now we know what Toyota said when they put out a casting call for this kid: “We want the love child of a Mariah Carey, Eric Bana and Ellen DeGeneres three-way. But we also want him to look like he could be the grandson of Margaret Thatcher and David Coulhard.” As disgusting as it sounds, it works, much like the making of sausage.
Attractive T-Mobile Lady
81% Gillian Anderson! That’s the highest of any celebrity match. She has to get that lawsuit together. How long can Scully live on “X-Files” royalties? Well, probably a really long time.
Funny Old Spice Guy
The Heineken “Entrance” Guy
Whoever this actor is, he has made it. Not only is he a sure thing to play young Robert De Niro or young Martin Short or young Mel Gibson in their biopics, he can also be a Jessica Simpson drag impersonator when his career starts to fade.
The PC from Mac Ads
Apple wanted an uptight, nerdy guy to play a PC in their ads opposite the always-cool Justin Long as a Mac. It seemed like their casting of humorist John Hodgman was perfect until we learned he looks looks just like Justin Timberlake, Prince Harry and Hugh Grant. Damn, that’s sexy.