Casting A Live Action Beavis And Butt-Head Movie

Back in the 90s, Johnny Depp told Beavis and Butt-Head creator Mike Judge that he’d really want to play Beavis if there was ever a live-action Beavis and Butt-Head movie.

In fact, Depp said that during the shooting of “Don Juan DeMarco,” he and co-star Marlon Brando would often imitate the dim-witted duo, with Brando playing the Butt-Head role. Well, now Depp is 47 and Brando is dead, so any live action adaptation of Beavis and Butt-Head would have to go on without the two screen Gods.

Here’s our crack at casting a non-animated Beavis and Butt-Head movie. Feel free to make your own suggestions or tell us why ours suck in the comment section.

Taylor Lautner as Butt-Head

The heartthrob already has the hair and the nose to play Butt-Head. All he would need to complete the look is braces, a weaker chin line and a deeper voice and that’s nothing the prop department, some doughnuts and puberty couldn’t fix.

Seann William Scott as Beavis

With Jacob aboard as Butt-Head, the temptation would be to cast the aggressively foreheaded Robert Pattinson in the Beavis role. Instead, we’re going to give the role to Seann Willliam Scott. In the past, Mike Judge has actually suggested Scott for Butt-Head, but we think his high-pitched manic energy works better for the slower of the slow-witted duo.

Aubrey Plaza as Daria

The “Parks and Recreation” hottie’s relentless deadpan seems like it was modeled on Daria, Beavis and Butt-Head’s sardonic foil. Give her some glasses and an ill-fitting jacket and she’ll instantly be transformed into Daria.

James Franco as David Van Driessen

The boys’ good-hearted but clueless teacher could be the next unexpected entry into soft-spoken thespian/scholar/performance artist’s long resume of quirk. Franco would need to grow out his hair and get a ginger dye job, but no one in Hollywood could nail Van Driessen’s hippie/stoner persona like this hippie/stoner.

Stephen Root as Principal McVickers

Make a few tweaks to the hapless and permanently stressed-out Milton Waddams Root played in “Office Space“–another Mike Judge creation–and you have Principal McVickers.

Timothy Olyphant as Todd Ianuzzi

While it’s true Olyphant would have to get less handsome and less dark-haired for the role, nobody can play a no-nonsense dick with a violent side like the star of “Deadwood” and “The Girl Next Door.”

R. Lee Ermey as Coach Bradley Buzzcut

Yeah, he’s probably getting a little old for the role, but other than his age, he couldn’t be more of a perfect fit.  And since he’s currently doing insurance company ads, we think he’d appreciate the work.

J.K Simmons as Tom Anderson

The veteran character actor has portrayed everything from the leader of a brutal white-supremacist prison gang to an understanding father of a pregnant daughter, so playing Beavis and Butt-Head’s absent minded senior citizen neighbor–who Simmons would resemble after gaining a few pounds and getting the right glasses–shouldn’t be a problem at all.

Justin Bieber as Stewart Stevenson

Just because.