A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Luke Skywalker battled the evil Empire, helped his wayward father find redemption and hooked up his best friend with his own sister.
In this galaxy, "Star Wars" is often unceremoniously combined with disparate media that has no business sullying the name of the historic franchise (that's George Lucas' job, after all), all in an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of geekdom. It's as if people think any pop culture reference mashed up with "Star Wars" equals page view gold. And maybe it does, but that doesn't mean that we can't be outraged by some of these egregious attempts at page view bait.
Here are a few "Star Wars" mashups that are either unworthy of the venerable name or inspired works of art. You be the judge.
"Star Wars" Meets "Jersey Shore"
Clutch covered this disturbing trend earlier this year when we posted drawings of the Jersey Shore stars as classic "Star Wars" characters, subsequently ruining how hard-core aficionados look at the sci-fi stalwart forever. In the interest of continuing the bizarre pairing (and the ruining of childhoods), someone created a set of "Star Wars"/"Jersey Shore" trading cards, which combine the cast of each in strange and horrifying ways--and that's saying something, since characters from both appear alien.
You can't un-see the "Snooki Wookiee."
"Star Wars" Meets "Hello Kitty"
Boasting that you're not affiliated with either Sanrio or Lucasfilms may avoid lawsuits, but combining the cutesy Japanese characters with classic villains like Boba Fett and stormtroopers will do little to protect you from fanboy scorn.
A collection called "Hello Wars" merges the saccharine world of "Hello Kitty" with "Star Wars," which...hell, is kind of cute. But Chewbacca doesn't wear a bow in his hair. That's crossing a sacred line.
"Star Wars" Meets Scooby Doo
"Star Wars" contains no small amount of interstellar spaceships, personal hovercars and quadrupedal battle tanks. In the case of the infamous AT-AT Walker, a big part of its intimidation factor came from the sheer size of its frame. However, the memorable design--like some sort of giant robot cat with laser cannons for whiskers--helped.
But when you put lightning bolts on the side (à la "Grease") or nod to "Scooby Doo" by painting the mobile death machine in the same hippie pastels as "The Mystery Machine," it loses a little bit of its impact.
"Star Wars" Meets Bobbleheads
This bizarre mashup offers not one, but two aspects for "Star Wars" fans to criticize: classic characters re-imagined as monsters (Chewbacca resembles a snarling werewolf) and then turned into silly bobbleheads. Either one would be enough to draw ire from even the least discerning fanboy. However, Funko covered all its bases here. Even Yoda has been desecrated--turned into a razor-toothed gargoyle.
"Star Wars" Meets Dr. Suess
Combining the space opera of "Star Wars" with the whimsical rhymes and art of Dr. Seuss, cartoonist Adam Watson walks a fine line between brilliance and blasphemy. Tackling two different stories both deeply intertwined with the very childhood of so many people and reconfiguring them as a singular entity is always a risky venture.
"Star Wars" Meets Disney
The theme of most of these mashups is an awesome "Star Wars" character mashed up with a totally lame other character. In this case though, the roles are reversed. Goofy is, as everyone knows, a total badass, while Jar Jar Binks completely sucks. Not all the mashups of "Star Wars" and Disney follow this pattern though. To wit: Here's the always boring Minnie as Slave Leia.
"Star Wars" Meets Winnie The Pooh
Unlike Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse, Winnie and Eyore aren't completely lame. What they are, though, is way too cute. Making the AT-AT Walker and Chewy this damn cute is like putting Mr. T in a Easter dress and bonnet. It's just inappropriate.